 
Years ago, I started practicing yoga. I am, by nature, very flexible, but somewhat weak in my upper body. I recall watching with self satisfaction as my classmates struggled and suffered while trying to slide into a split that I could drop into effortlessly. Yet, I felt envious when someone balanced their entire body on one hand and I couldn’t do it on two.
Class after class, I measured myself against everyone else. On some days, I was more capable than anyone and that meant I was successful. Other days, I was the only one in class who couldn’t do an arm balance and that meant I’d failed. This competition, existing only in my mind, lasted months.
Then, I discovered a book about the mental and spiritual aspects of yoga. It said that yoga done while focused on anyone other than the self wasn’t yoga at all; it was ego. Since then, I’ve worked to “stay on my own mat”, concentrating all my attention on my own practice. No matter how full the class is, I am alone.
As I reclaimed my attention and focus, I became even more flexible and my ability to lift myself with my arms quickly developed. Soon, I was taking advanced classes and feeling better than I’d ever felt. My whole practice, body and sense of self changed.
This lesson applies to life. There will always be someone richer, poorer, older, younger, prettier, less attractive etc. Measuring oneself against others, causes perpetual vacillation between feelings of superiority and inadequacy. It’s pointless and detrimental because the energy spent on comparing isn’t spent on bettering oneself.
There is only one competition and competitor, life and you.Â
How to stay on your own mat:
1) When you feel small because you’re comparing your accomplishments to someone else’s, acknowledge it and note that you are participating in your own defeat. Remind yourself that 100% of your power lies within and to access it you must, stay on your own mat. Redirect your focus to loving, improving and pushing yourself to the heights of your potential.
2) Know that there is no door closed to you. This applies to authentic desires, not ego based cravings. (Authentic desires endure and don’t require anyone else to see them in order for you to be fulfilled. By contrast, ego based desires generally want to prove or show something to someone else. You are the center of your universe, there is no one more worthy of seeing your fulfilled desires than you.) Authentic desires are hardwired into you because they are the purpose of your life; they are always capable of achievement. Only you can close the doors to your dreams. Consciously work in the mind to keep them open.Â
3) When you find yourself feeling superior to others, shake yourself out of that delirium. Pride comes before the fall. Imagine pasting a bull’s eye to your forehead and running around an archery range. Self aggrandizement draws negative attention from the universe and world because it is an act of separation. Life, science, spirituality and babies teach us that all suffering is borne of separation. When you have much more than others, share your wisdom, assets and love.
It is wonderful and just that those who stay on their own mats, competing only with themselves, are among the most successful and giving people on the planet.
 ~ Cynthia
Excellent advice! It is interesting how we like compare ourselves to others when we are having a down day and when we're feeling good we compare others to ourselves. I have gone to a Yogalates class once a week for a couple months now; my wife told me I need to work on my flexibility and as usual she's right!So I have to say, I definitely cannot compare myself to anyone in class. #1 i'm the only man in the class; #2 I sweat worse in one hour of Yogalates than I ever have lifting weights; #3 I am put to shame by everyone else in the class even though I consider myself to be in decent shape!;#4 I've totally embarrassed myself a few times. If you've ever been to a Yoga class you'll understand!And to be honest the only reason I went after the first class is because my wife enlisted her best friend to make sure I go!! LOL (secretly i'm glad; it's an excellent workout both for the mind and body; but don't tell anyone, i've got an image!)
Thank you for the wonderful post – for so eloquent and convincing story. It was worthy pondering deeper and translated into my daily living. Thank you for the priceless remark (yoga done while focused on anyone other than the self wasn't yoga at all; it was ego)These words cover all our being- thus explains the difference between the timeless arts and cheap crafts.Your post illuminated the road I am to take with the wisdom of the love that shined through your sharing. respectfully from Art by Tomas
You are wise beyond your years! Thank you for sharing. Very insightful.
Carol, Nathan and Tomas:Thank you for writing. I am grateful that each of you have shared a piece of yourselves here on the web. I've enjoyed the creations emanating from you. A man who writes about living and two vastly different, but light-filled artists. I really enjoy this. :)Cynthia
Very nice. Every new Yogi need to learn this. Thank you. Love
Thanks for the wonderful post.
Thanks for the wonderful post.
Hello Swami Balendu – Thank you for reinforcing this freeing truth.Peace,Cynthia
Hello Swami Balendu – Thank you for reinforcing this freeing truth.Peace,Cynthia
Hi Stela:Thanks for reading it :)Cynthia
Love my daily dose of your wisdom – thank you!
Love my Jewels! (Sort of alarming that whenever I think of you I get hungry . . . )
Love my daily dose of your wisdom – thank you!
This hits home for me. Thank you so much for putting it in such plain English and easy to understand words. I’ve been doing Bikram and this was a good reminder for me to stay on my own mat 🙂 You inspire others and I love that.
This hits home for me. Thank you so much for putting it in such plain English and easy to understand words. I’ve been doing Bikram and this was a good reminder for me to stay on my own mat 🙂 You inspire others and I love that.
Cynthia,
I also take yoga, and sometimes can't help peeking to see how I'm doing…doesn't that sound silly? Peek at others to measure how I'm doing? Thanks for the reminder – I'll try not to do that again…
Wow. You are so on time today. Thank you, Chiquita. This is awesome and so are you.
Wow. You are so on time today. Thank you, Chiquita. This is awesome and so are you.
Thank you, Cynthia Strawbridge (fellow Goddess of the Moon)
Thank you, Cynthia Strawbridge (fellow Goddess of the Moon)
<3 sharing…
<3 sharing…
Thank you so much for this. Just what I needed to see today. <3
Thank you so much for this. Just what I needed to see today. <3
Once again . . . you are BOMB.