This week on the podcast, I spoke about How to Take Care of Yourself During Crisis. Here are some key takeaways:
1. You Are Not Being Punished
It’s not uncommon during tragedy to believe it is some sort of punishment or evidence of your bad character, unlovability, or unworthiness. You are not being punished, and you did not deserve this. Life’s challenges are not a reflection of your character or your ability to create and receive good. Tragedies are not karmic justice, God’s wrath, or a curse. Awful things can happen to the best people. You are worthy of love, healing, joy, and equally wonderful experiences.
2. Prioritize Physical Safety
The first step in any crisis is ensuring your physical safety. Remove yourself from harm’s way, and let go of what you must to protect your body and well-being. You need to be safe to move forward.
3. Focus on Emotional Safety
Once your physical safety is secure, turn inward. Acknowledge your emotions, even the most painful ones, and treat yourself with compassion. Wrap yourself in comfort—a warm blanket, a soothing non-alcoholic drink—and ground yourself in the present moment.
4. Stay Present
Your mind may bounce between the loss you’re enduring and fears of permanent or worsening future crises. Acknowledge that you’re under immense stress and your thinking isn’t as clear as it will be as you heal. Stay present. Just get through today. Be compassionate with yourself. Use calming breathing techniques to activate a parasympathetic (rest and digest) response in your body.
5. Calming Breath
Practice Dr. Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 breathing (link to Dr Weil demonstrating this breathwork):
– Inhale through your nose for 4 counts.
– Hold your breath for 7 counts.
– Exhale slowly through pursed lips for 8 counts.
This breathing technique will help calm your body and mind, even in the most difficult moments.
6. Take Small, Intentional Steps
Every day, set aside a small amount of time, even just 15 minutes, to take practical steps toward things that need to be done now. Do your best to detach for a few minutes and imagine you are helping someone like you. Ask “What would someone in my situation need to do right now to get through this?” File applications, make appointments, get copies of documents, make calls, set up the help you need. It can feel overwhelming, take it in small doses.
7. Reach Out
Even when your pain feels unique, you are not alone. Reach out to someone—a friend, family member, or even a support group. This is not the time to bear the weight alone. Ask for help.
8. Acceptance Brings Power
Reaching the point of acceptance is one of the most challenging parts of navigating a crisis, and it’s not something that can be rushed. But when you do get there, you’ll have an infusion of energy and power to create new goals, and you’ll see new possibilities, opportunities, and your path forward.
Acceptance doesn’t mean you like or agree with what’s happened. It’s the cessation of resisting what is and ruminating about how it should be different. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Getting to the point of acceptance requires grieving. Just know that you will get there when you’re ready. And when you do, you’ll have new energy and abilities.
There Will Be A New Normal
Losing your “normal” is one of the most devastating parts of a crisis. But it’s also the beginning of creating a new normal. This doesn’t mean forgetting what you’ve lost or minimizing your pain—it’s taking small, steady steps to rebuild a life that holds meaning, purpose, and, eventually, joy.
As impossible as it may seem, the way you feel right now will change. Feelings change, situations evolve, and life continues. Taking care of yourself at every stage will see you through to a new and valued normal.
