Have you ever caught yourself hesitating—holding back your words, questioning your choices, staying in situations that feel wrong—all because you’re worried about what someone else might think?
- Maybe you’ve smiled when you felt upset.
- Nodded when you wanted to walk away.
- Said “yes” when every part of you wanted to say “no.”
For so many women, this is an invisible prison. A lifetime of being trained to please, to be agreeable, to seek approval above all else.
Prefer to listen? 🎧Click here: How to Stop Caring What Others Think
When Did This Need for Approval Begin?
From the time we are little girls, we are rewarded for being “good.”
- “Be a good girl.”
- “Smile, be polite, don’t make a fuss.””
- “Make others happy and comfortable.”
- “Don’t be too loud, too bold, too opinionated.”
We learn—without anyone ever saying it outright—that our goodness is tied to how well we please others.
As we grow, this conditioning burrows deep into our subconscious.
- We learn that love comes with conditions—that we must behave a certain way to be accepted.
- We learn that pleasing others makes us valuable, while setting boundaries makes us difficult.
- We learn that being liked means safety, while being authentic is a risk.
By the time we reach adulthood, this belief system is so deeply ingrained that we don’t even question it.
- We say “yes” even when we want to say “no.”
- We bite our tongues in meetings, afraid to sound too assertive.
- We stay in friendships and relationships that drain us, terrified of being disliked.
- We spend hours overanalyzing conversations, dissecting every word we said.
- We contort ourselves to fit what’s expected—until we don’t even know who we really are anymore.
And the worst part?
Even when we get the approval we crave, it never feels like enough.
The Price of Living for Others
What happens when we prioritize approval over authenticity?
- We shrink. We make ourselves small, quiet, agreeable, unthreatening.
- We lose touch with ourselves. We forget what excites us, what fuels us, what sets our souls on fire.
- We live in fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of rejection. Fear of standing out.
- We become exhausted. Keeping up appearances is draining. Pretending is draining. Performing is draining.
And worst of all?
We waste time—precious, irreplaceable time—living for everyone else instead of for ourselves.
And then one day, we wake up and realize:
“I have spent my life performing for others.”
What You Need to Know About Letting Go of Approval
If you are ready to stop living for others and start living for yourself, you need to understand one thing:
Not everyone will like it.
- The people who benefited from your compliance may resist.
- Those who controlled or influenced your choices may push back.
- Some relationships will shift. Others may even disappear.
But here’s what’s even more important:
- The right people—the ones who truly love you—will still be there.
- The relationships that remain will be real, built on mutual respect instead of silent resentment.
- And most importantly? You will finally belong to yourself.
Yes, some people will leave.
But they were never truly yours to begin with—because they only loved the version of you that was shaped for their comfort.
Prefer to listen? 🎧 Click here: How to Stop Caring What Others Think
How to Break Free from People-Pleasing and Reclaim Your Power
Letting go of approval-seeking isn’t about becoming indifferent or rude. It’s about choosing yourself first and trusting that the right people and opportunities will align with your truth.
1. Become conscious of your “yes” and your “no.”
- Before automatically agreeing to something, pause.
- Ask yourself: Do I truly want this? Or am I just afraid of disappointing someone?
- Give yourself permission to choose yourself.
2. Say “no” without guilt, explanation, or apology. You do not owe anyone a justification for prioritizing your well-being.
- “That doesn’t work for me.”
- “I’m not available.”
- “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll pass.”
3. Stop apologizing for existing.
- Replace “I’m sorry I’m late” with “Thank you for waiting.”
- Replace “I’m sorry for talking so much” with “I love sharing my thoughts with you.”
- Stop shrinking. Take up space. You belong.
4. Make decisions based on desire, not expectation.
- If no one else’s opinion mattered, what would you do?
- If you didn’t need approval, what choices would you make?
- Start honoring your truth—even in the smallest ways.
5. Surround yourself with people who support your authenticity.
- Not everyone deserves a front-row seat in your life.
- Choose friendships and relationships that celebrate, not suppress, who you are.
6. Visualize yourself at the end of your life.
- Imagine looking back—what will you wish you had done differently?
- Will you regret saying “no” to others? Or will you regret saying “no” to yourself?
Prefer to listen? 🎧 Click here: How to Stop Caring What Others Think
The Story of Lisa—A Woman Who Chose Herself
Lisa had the picture-perfect life. The career. The relationship. The flawless Instagram aesthetic. But, she was drowning inside. Every decision she made was based on what would look good to others. She had no idea what she actually wanted—because she had never took the time to think about it. Despite having everything that “should” have made her happy, she felt utterly empty.
When she finally had enough, she changed her life. She quit a volunteer position she secretly despised. She stopped dressing based on trends and started wearing what she actually liked. She walked away from the relationship that looked perfect—but felt suffocating.
And what happened?
The people who truly loved her stayed. The ones who only valued her performance disappeared. And for the first time in her life, she felt free. She finally understood that approval is not love and pleasing everyone else meant abandoning herself.
Lisa took her power back and vowed never to sacrifice her peace for someone else’s pleasure again.
Your Freedom is Waiting
If this note speaks to you, take one step today.
- Say “no” when you mean no.
- Speak your truth without shrinking.
- Stop apologizing for existing.
- Give yourself the approval you’ve been seeking from others.
Your life is happening now. Don’t wait. The freedom you crave is already yours. You just have to choose it.
Listen to the full episode here: How to Stop Caring What Others Think
