Last week, I decided to dramatically reduce my one-on-one coaching practice. I thoroughly enjoy coaching. Yet, I am at a place that I have to choose between the good that I have and a new dream. This decision was a long time coming; I tried to find ways to do it all (something we women are taught is desirable). I realized that in order to live a life that is rewarding and fulfilling, that balances family, work and play, I couldn’t continue adding responsibilities to my life. I can do a few things with excellence, or risk doing everything in a mediocre way. Seeing this made the choice easy.
So, on Thursday morning, I reduced my one-on-one coaching availability to 3 hours a week and let my existing clients know that at the end of our term, I won’t be available to renew. Thankfully, they understood and I’m grateful that many will join me for my upcoming group coaching experience.
When I mentioned my decision to a friend, she said that I must have lost my mind. I’ve worked hard, built a great practice with amazing clients, earn an hourly rate rivaling what I’d earn if I’d chosen practice law, and now I’m giving it all up. She couldn’t fathom how I could trade something so solidly good to pursue the dream of something I may (or may not, she pointed out) like better?
My friend’s comments highlighted a common approach to life. Most of us settle. When something bad happens, it’s natural for us to reach for something better. Yet, most of us recoil at the prospect of giving up good for the potential of better. We cling to comfort, often becoming complacent and many of us settle for less than we desire.
I challenge you to flip your perspective and instead of looking forward over your life, imagine yourself at the end of it looking backward. From that perspective, how will you wish you’d have lived? How will you feel if you’ve settled? Will you be happy if you chose comfort over possibility and evolving dreams? I know my answer.
I want to know that I’ve lived fully and freely, never a prisoner to the opinions of others, the fear of failing, or the cushy-ness of comfort.
Success, for me, is not the avoidance of failure, it’s being bold enough to honor my deepest desires.
Take some time today examine whether you’re settling for less than what you really want, less than what you believe you’re capable of, less than your deepest yearnings.
If you like this post, please share this with a friend and leave a comment below. Where are you settling for less than the best?
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PSS! The 21 day fast from negative self-judgment and criticism continues. Catch it all right here: https://www.cynthiaoccelli.com/fast/
I am definitely settling in my relationship. But I don’t want to tear my children’s life apart for a second time…….
I realize what a complex decision this is, Sonnie.
Honestly…this is how I’ve lived my entire life. Sort of flitting from one thing to another, but there was always method involved. When something felt finished and done with, another project or lifestyle choice came about. It’s about living a life well, with intention and purpose, and heeding many callings. Some may see it as flighty, but they don’t,t know what we know…namaste, Cynthia.
I agree, Elizabeth. How are you? How’s life in your corner of the world?
Hi Cynthia. I enjoyed listening to this show on HH radio. It resonated with me because I have a choice between a good life for my son and I in one city (with husband visiting on weekends) and a better life with all three of us in one city. This involves leaving behind a good job for me, a good school for my son, good friends and doctors, etc. without the certitude of finding equivalents in this new town. I keep telling myself to open up to change and go with the flow; spirit will take care of the “where”s and “when”s and “how”s. Reuniting the family is a good enough reason to accept this change and let it unfold under spirit’s guide.
I LOVE the way you’re seeing this Anna. Love and blessings to you.