Rare treasures are valued worldwide.
Diamonds are really just pretty rocks that come out of the ground. They are prized more than other equally stunning rocks because they are incredibly scarce.
Elite athletes do a great deal less for society than teachers, but they are celebrated because they possess a talent far more uncommon (but not more valuable) than the ability to teach a child to read.
Growing a life inside a woman’s body is infinitely more miraculous than making millions of dollars, but the millionaire garners great attention because she’s uncommon and her wealth gives her access to even more rare things.
We love limited works of art, one of a kind items and special moments that only we get to enjoy. Rare things and experiences make us feel special and privileged.
When it comes to relationships, I am continuously baffled by people who forget this. They jump into bed with a new interest on Friday, think they’re in love on Monday and start dreaming of a lifetime together only to find themselves sitting at home Thursday wondering why the person isn’t calling anymore.
Much of society has rebelled against or done away with religious and gender based admonitions against premarital and/or promiscuous sex. There is a sense that prohibitions against commitment free sex are baseless rules aimed at controlling people and dominating women. The reason to refrain from casual sex isn’t religious or moral righteousness.
Having casual sex dramatically diminishes the likelihood of a long term monogamous relationship.
People want a love they can cherish, count on and feel special about. Having sex before a solid relationship develops is no more special than mating farm animals. It sends a message: “This isn’t a big deal to me, I do this with everyone I like.”
Some people will partake and enjoy causal sexual relationships, but when it comes time to picking a life partner the easy mark won’t be in the running. They’ll search for the one who refuses to engage in such important behavior without a serious relationship.
They’ll go for the rare find.
~ Cynthia
I entirely agree with you. I don't understand people who put so little value on their bodies, health, and minds.
Absolutely. And further, beyond thinking whether we're a rare or common find in the eyes of others: One approach is that sexual energy is precisely that: energy, something that can be used for all kinds of purposes very productively (e.g., in a loving relationship, to create a wonderful intimate connection; or, channelled, e.g. though yoga or sports or arts). The bottom line: it's our precious commodity, asset — do we just want to waste that on whomever we happen to fancy in late hour in a bar? Do we want to that kind of "charity work", just mindlessly spend it? It's no wonder sex addiction, gambling, and other addictions are closely related.Many thanks, Cynthia. I love your highly observant and well written, somewhat minimalist, yet always to-the-point, concrete, no-nonsense posts about what I'd call spiritual life in its very concrete form: in the everyday dilemmas we face in today's western world. I'm a BIG fan. Minna
Thanks, Deb. It is so good to "see" you again. I appreciate your reinforcement.Cynthia
Minna,Thank you for sharing such wisdom. You are spot on; everything, at its root, is energy and how we direct it creates and shapes our lives. I don't always find it easy to communicate that to people who just want to know how to stop getting into painful places. I love your "charity work" analysis. It works.I'm your fan, too.Cynthia
I share these sentiments, and have done so all of my long and barely eventful life. To associate this clarity and wisdom with the image you share with us strangers is a pleasure for right and wrong reasons. Think of the right ones only….
Hi Bob:I will do my best. :)Cynthia