On October 19, 2009, I wrote one of my first blog-posts: “Reclaiming Womanhood – It’s not what you think.” The seeds planted by this idea had already taken root and begun to change the course of my life.
In exploring what it means to be a feminine woman in today’s world, I’ve learned that it takes courage to stand up for femininity –so many associate it with weakness and inferiority. It requires patience to hold out for a fully expressed masculine man, but it is well worth the wait. Living from one’s feminine essence also demands trust in spirit, intuition and flow, a challenge for the left brain intellect our western culture so heavily rests on.
I’ve met women, and a few men, who deplore the conclusions I’ve reached. For example, I’ve discovered that romantic passion between any two people (including same sex couples) requires extremes of both the masculine and feminine polarities. Without these opposing extremes, relationships, at best, progress as lukewarm, bonded companionships with romantic connections akin to a warm hug. For women who want passion, romance and adoration, the gender neutral -balance of masculinity and femininity within each person- dynamic fails. Many women want to strangle me for saying this, yet many later recant and embrace the idea.
It’s become clear to me that although women are capable of doing everything for themselves, we don’t enjoy it. Studies abound that women today are increasingly less happy, but studies aren’t required. Talk to us and it’s clear. We are busy, stressed and tired. We’ve traded cooperation for competition, intimacy for achievement and compassion for calculating callousness. We are so driven to be superwomen that we don’t have time for ourselves. Our positive self-image and definition of success is dependent upon how much we accomplish and produce. Somewhere beneath the titles of breadwinner, mother, wife, daughter, executive, housekeeper, doctor, actor, teacher, friend and everything else, something is missing and it makes us ache.
This sacred ache is the call of our feminine heart beckoning us to come home. I returned home years ago and I’m ready to share the road map with you. Stay tuned. Please post your comments, questions and complaints. We need to talk.
~ Cynthia
Fantastic article, well done for expressing it so well!
Thanks, Kam.
Most excellent article! And I shall comment on literally ONE word. We honor women with certain gender differentiations in our language such as princess (vs. prince) yet in recent years I hear the word ‘actress’ less and less. I would merely encourage you to use words that honor the difference between men and women whenever possible.
Howard – I love your comment. Our differences are to be enhanced and celebrated. Equal does not mean SAME. There’s so much good here. Thank you!
You are striking a chord with me too, Cynthia, I agree with what you’re saying here, and vive la difference!
All my life I’ve stuck out for women’s rights, but not at the expense of turning women into men – each sex has its own merits and we should be celebrating that fact and making the best of both worlds, I think. This way of thinking you propose here will benefit both women AND men.
Anne – Women have compromised so many of the aspects that make us happy, all in the name of being better men. What a shame! I am an ardent supporter of women’s equality NOT gender sameness. You’re spot on “we should the celebrating that fact (the merits of each sex) and making the best of both worlds.”
Cheers!
Cynthia
oh, please tell me how. thanks in advance.
Judi
Thank you for reading Judi – I’m eager to share!
Cynthia
I run my own business and have to act tough everyday with my lads, I long to be feminine and have intimacy in my life. I cannot wait to read your next post.
Oh Lynn, I so understand that. Every woman needs to know how to command masculine energy to achieve her goals, the key is using it as a tool, something you put down when you don’t need. Also, knowing when to choose to use it is a real art because the feminine strengths are adept at achieving many desired, and assumed masculine, outcomes in a different but in a far more enjoyable way. We’ll get there.
I’m so excited about sharing this. Thank you for reading!
Cynthia
Thank you! You wrote this article just as I have been starting my road to releasing my femininity. I have done nothing but try to “make-it” in the work force, and I have to some degree. I put myself through college two years ago, lost 70lbs (so far)in the last year and now working on the person I really desire to be…. a strong, soft, smart, beautiful woman. To learn I don’t have to compete with the men all the time, to learn that a woman can show her softness without being consider weak (dealing with this right now with a few woman friends), to be silly and flirty with out being consider dumb and to give a romantic feeling not only about me but in my home and life. I look forward to what you discovered in your journey and with all your readers. Thank you again for sharing!
WOW Rebecca, you’re amazing! You are well on your way to living out your innate desire. I share your interest and way of wanting to be in the world. I’m eager to share my experiences with you and learn more about yours. Do stay in touch.
🙂
Cynthia
I want to read your follow up blog on this subject…I find it interesting, you bring your blog posts down to where you are like talking to the people that read your blog, not like most that just write and post a blog.
I like your blog posts, they are from the discoveries of the heart.
Thanks Marcus – We’re all living parts of the same conversation and should always be talking with each other 🙂
Be well,
Cynthia
I am in a relationship with a woman. I came out almost 25 yrs ago … and since then I have been doing everything … regardless of what is expected of my sex. It is amazing to be in partnership with someone with who I can share feminine and masculine sides. It is a beautiful balance. It isn’t so much about who is being more or less feminine or masculine … as it is about learning how to give and recieve. It is about communication … and respecting each other’s abilities … and perfecting the dance of intimacy. There is no power struggle. We both know that we are full able and capable of doing anything that needs to be done. So now it becomes about truly working together … and loving what shines in each other at any given moment. It’s a beautiful thing! 🙂
I’m happy you’ve found someone you enjoy so much, Lisa. It sounds wonderful and supportive.
Only one thing bothered me about this post.
It was to short. 🙂
Enjoyed and left me wanting to hear more.
Thanks Angie!
I keep saying this! Thank you! 🙂
Don’t stop! 🙂
It takes a lot of courage for me to keep going right now – what would I do without Facebook – all the great people on it – and the wonderful comments that inspire me so much!
My daughter’s birthday is October 19th! What a wonderful gift!
Don’t give up Barbara Rita Henry. We are praying, loving and rooting for you.
all my life***
That is SO NICE!!!
Thank you.
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