Are you worrier?
We all feel the churning spiral of worry to some degree, but did you know that worriers are made not born?
The more you practice worrying, like any mental state, the easier and more natural it becomes. Practice it regularly and voila you’ll be an expert habitual worrier.
I received this email from a woman whose life was being consumed by worry:
At this point in my life, I am really dealing with a lot of anxiety. My mind is consumed with thoughts of what ifs: What if I get a disease? What if my boyfriend leaves me? What if another family member dies? It has gotten to the point where at times I cannot even function through the day because I am crippled by my thoughts. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated!”
Most worriers irrationally believe that worrying somehow protects them from experiencing bad things. The truth is that life’s challenges cannot be influenced, prevented, or controlled by worrying.
Worrying produces no benefits and plenty of disadvantages. It exhausts your mind and body, releases stress chemicals into your body, and makes you less adept at solving the challenges you’re facing. It’s a total loss.
The key to changing your worry habit begins by understanding that thinking about worrying won’t help you stop worrying. That’s just adding more to the worry pile.
The way to stop worrying is to change your thinking and stick with it until you’ve created a new powerful habit.
Here are two worry replacing practices.
Change Your Questions
What if I get or have a disease?
What if my boyfriend leaves me?
What if another family member dies?
What if I am and remain healthy?
What if my boyfriend and I remain together?
What if my family members live long and healthy lives?
Do you feel the lift that comes from these questions? They change your inner chemistry and help you to feel hopeful, strong, and well.
Get Your Gratitude On
Whenever you notice yourself about to enter the worry spiral, or you’re already in it, think of five things you’re genuinely grateful to have. These things can be big or small, but they must mean something to you.
For example, I am grateful:
-for the hot water that flows from my faucet.
-that my mother always loved me.
-that I have a computer.
-for my best friend.
-for the abundance of oxygen life gives me.
Worrying makes you feel like life isn’t on your side. Your regular gratitude practice will show you that a power greater than you is supporting you.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ― Melody Beattie
Trials come, yes, but the odds are just as good—in fact, better—that your worries won’t happen. If they do, your worrying will have done nothing but ruin the good moments, making you unable to show up the way you would if you hadn’t weakened yourself with worry.
“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”― Mark Twain
Love to you,