For my latest book, I asked men around the world to send me descriptions of what they find attractive in a woman. I expected to receive a few scant responses from my email & Facebook Page requests and hoped my clients and friends would be willing to fill in the gaps. I grossly miscalculated. Within moments of my requests, I received a plethora of posts and emails from men offering detailed descriptions of what they find most beautiful in a woman.
Contrary to their emotionally blunted image, men are deeply aware of their feelings and need for intimacy. They may not sit like ladies in a book club, tearing up as they share their desire for real love, but it’s there and it burns like an inferno.
Some of the emails I received were so emotionally intense and revealing I chose not to share them, even reading them felt like an invasion of privacy. With all confidence, I report to you that there are men brimming with love to give and they want so much more than a bed-mate.
If you’ve lost the connection to your innate knowledge of men, or just want some reassurance, here’s a sampling of the descriptions I received of what men find attractive:
“I don’t have a type. What I like is a lady who feels good in her skin. She doesn’t have to wear a lot of makeup or whatever. She has to take care of herself though. A woman that takes good care of herself will take good care of me, too. It’s also important that she’s happy most of the time and a nice person.”“Intelligence, eyes and spunk.”“A sense of self, which leads to confidence. A woman who understands her worth and doesn’t stand for those who don’t respect it. A willingness to care actively for others, and an eagerness to embrace her physical beauty.”
“An open mind, a caring heart, a feminine grace, an implicit innocence, a confident beauty (not a shallow, made-up, pretty one, though pretty is not being ruled out here), a trusting nature, a reciprocating mirror of love.”
“open, honest, transparent, with nothing to hide, caring of herself and mindful of others”
“1) a woman that’s comfortable in herself. a sense of self-possession, despite any ‘flaws’ she thinks she might have…
2) radiant kindness. anyone can be ‘tough.’ but, to my mind, true strength lives in kindness…
3) a woman that finds me as attractive/beautiful as i find her. if a woman can, genuinely/authentically, treat a man as if he has earned her complete and utter attention, to the exclusion of just about everyone else…that he’s one of the top priorities in her life (basically, runner-up to her spiritual beliefs and, of course, herself)…she’s an unprecedentedly magical being!
4) energetically, it’s about energy that declares personhood, then womanhood, then sex. Energy that moves and says ‘watch me: look at who I am, and what I’m capable of…”, but it’s conveyed effortlessly, as a part of her not something she has to make happen…
5) physically, I’m fond of very hourglass bodies…wide shoulders/hips particularly, and good skin…but i put this last because it is the last consideration. Everything else trumps it…”
“Femininity, as in making the man feel masculine by seeking his protection. Strong women who are not afraid to show vulnerability. Femininity exists to balance masculinity. Masculinity to balance femininity.”
“Beauty attracts as much as it gives. Women that attract attributes like honesty, integrity and faith, by her sheer inner core magnetism, can reflect it back by a smile, a touch or an action of giving . They say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, it’s in the heart and soul of a woman.”
“The Physical aspect of the fairer sex are a consideration,but,the one that least concerns me!!! I prefer Substance over overt sexuality!!! But,then again,the RIGHT SUBSTANCE can be and IS quite SEXUALLY enticing!!”
Notice how large a role feminine confidence plays in attraction. This should not be confused with masculine assertiveness.
Feminine confidence is the easy comfort of a woman connected to her essence and secure in herself and body; it’s her sense of “This is who I am,” that magnetizes men.
Men crave women who genuinely enjoy being themselves, no one else.