Even the most Pollyanna, enlightened or optimistic people feel unmotivated or pessimistic sometimes. They feel afraid, worried and irritated, too.
Today was a dark day for me, it felt like I was living under water. I felt slow, dissatisfied and blue. Being well versed in the Universal and specific truths and techniques that help me climb back to sunny shores, I knew what to do, but I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to sit in my upset and let it have its way, so I did. It was ugly for a few minutes as every complaint residing in my mind took center stage. I watched and listened. Soon memory after memory of other dark days in my life came up, there are so many.
Then it hit me. All of that darkness was a vital part of my growth. It’s my frustration with what is that makes me reach for what I want to be. The prickly pain of wounds salted by toxic people taught me to release avoid them in the future. The heavy ache for fulfillment of dreams has motivated me as much as the joyful vision of their attainment. Soul-crushing losses have shaken me awake and changed the lens I view life through from gray to color. My tears taught me compassion, my rage, to stand up for myself and others. Who would I be without these gifts?
Humans are always in process, always growing. At every level of growth there is grief, discomfort, irritation and upset. Growth is messy, like all births. Even the germination of a seed involves violent destruction; the walls give way and its insides are twisted and thrown outward. One, unaware of the ensuing life, might mistake the seeds germination for its destruction. It’s the same for us.
Darkness precedes light.