The secret to raising great children:

Knowing that what they see is what you get, and they see everything.

So, it all begins with you.

Your child’s personality blueprint is heavily influenced by the people they spend the most time with. For many children, little thought is given to what they’re absorbing.

Some parents attempt to hide unbecoming qualities or events from their children. They create false images and engage in unhealthy behaviors out of their children’s sight. This is often destructive.

Children have wide open and sensitive hearts and minds. They sense and absorb hidden events and behaviors, even if they cannot consciously articulate or understand them. This can undermine their sense of trust and self-confidence, as what they sense and what they are shown and told are in conflict.

Support your child’s ability to trust their impressions of the world by eliminating deceit and refraining from manufacturing false realities that pretend to be healthy and honest. Behave the way you want your children to behave when they grow up. Let this guide you and your children will sense the truth and value of your actions and lifestyle.

As daunting as this effort may sound, it’s wonderful because it means that even if your childhood was rife with terrible parenting, you don’t have to repeat it. You can be an amazing mother by working to become your very best self.

Ask yourself some empowering questions to get started:

Are you kind, conscientious, disciplined, self-loving, respectful, compassionate, consistent, responsible, and honest?

Do you tell the truth, follow through, take responsibility for your actions, clean up your messes, respect others, and value yourself?

Could I look at your life and know what your highest priorities are?

Are you financially responsible, health conscious, able to delay gratification, and set boundaries?

Answer these questions and mine the answers for insights about what you’d like to improve in yourself. Write this valuable information down and review it often. You’ll begin to see yourself doing the things you want more of and less of those you don’t.

Whatever you can see you can change. As you change your behavior, you’ll change yourself, the example you’re setting for your children, and your future. Not only will your children feel more self-trust, trust in you, and security, you’ll reap the benefits of a much better life.

Wherever you’re starting from (and it doesn’t matter how much work you have to do), just begin. Start by making a commitment to change today. Make today the day you empowered yourself and changed your family’s future–for generations.

I KNOW you can do this. I did it, too. It was not at all easy. My family and community didn’t believe I could do it and it took an unrelenting effort. It was the single best decision I’ve ever made. Nothing means more to me today than having healthy, motivated, clean-living, and self-reliant children.