How do you handle decision making? Do you make a hurried or snap choice? Or do you get caught up in an endless weighing of the outcomes? Is your normal approach somewhere in between?
Last year, I made a ton of big decisions. I negotiated the largest transaction I’ve done so far. I had to choose where to live and what my business would look like. I chose new subject matter for courses and picked a new book concept.
I was constantly faced with fast-paced exchanges that pushed for immediate answers.
I struggled and stumbled a few times.
Once, I was negotiating a sale. Emotionally, I really wanted the item to sell. Intellectually, I was ready to sell it. I knew what the item was worth, and I’d received a great offer. After inspecting the item, the buyer called with a lower offer. My representative got excited and immediately pushed me to counter at a price in the middle. She was full of contagious urgency. Without pausing to breathe and reflect, I followed her advice and agreed to an unnecessarily lower price.
Almost immediately, I regretted it.
As time passed, and I grew quieter, I felt more regret. I’d failed to follow my own wisdom: to never react under pressure, think for yourself and always take a few minutes to get centered before you choose how you’ll respond.
If I’d become still first, I wouldn’t have countered at all. I’d have stood firm on the item’s value and let the buyer make the choice to take it or pass.
The way I behaved was according to my old stories. It was a throwback to my upbringing, to the lack and scarcity consciousness that ruled my youth and family home.
I’ve since trained myself to see the harried, frantic energies of scarcity as a reminder to pause, breathe, get some altitude, and reconsider.
At the other end of this vital wisdom is one caution. Don’t endlessly ruminate. Overthinking leads to confusion and muddled outcomes, aka analysis paralysis. Take enough time to get centered, evaluate the risks and benefits, ask your higher self for guidance, and actively craft a calm response. If you’re prone to overthinking, encourage yourself to make swift and calm decisions by giving yourself a reasonable, but firm deadline.
When you are calmly seated in your awareness, and take authority over your ability to set the tone of and process of your decisions, you’ll see your level of satisfaction with outcomes rise.
Remember, you are the empress of your life. Stay on your throne.
Exactly the reminder I was needed…as always…thank you
This could not come at a more perfect time for me. I recently sold my home where my children grew up. I had lived there for almost 30 years. My divorced was finalized, we sold the house, and I, for the first time in my 54 years of life I’m on my own. My children are both in college fairly close but I’m mostly on my own! I’m so proud of how far I’ve come but I have a lot of things to clean out in both my new home and me personally and the people I have been surrounding myself with. I’m really feeling now is the time to make some changes and clean house! I love you so much Cynthia. You’ve made such a positive impact on my life. <3
Wow, Jennifer, I recall your journey. I remember the stress around approaching college and the confusing dynamics incident to delaying the divorce. LOOK AT YOU. You did it! You can do anything. There’s a fear that comes with complete freedom. Trust yourself. You are more than prepared, all these years made sure of that. I love you, sister. <3
I’m in the process of some big life transitions– moving countries, but not yet decided on the city, still gathering information to be able make a sound decision. I’m comfortable with my process and finding some of my extended family (who aren’t good at making decisions) are pushing for me to either follow their process (ask a few questions, rush at an evaluation, and jump at a decision), or let them make the decision for me (using their frame of reference and not refer to me at all).
This came as a welcome reminder that I do know what I’m doing, and that my life is changing, opening up to a beautiful new chapter. Thank you
Sandy, thank you for sharing. I am so glad that you are present and aware of the influences around you. You do have the answers. They are within you, and you are the one who will live them out. Keep your focus. Think for yourself. Move the way calmness moves you. I’d love to hear what you decide.