Sadness, anger, emptiness, despair, disappointment and hopelessness are all aspects of grief. The experience of grief is often perceived as an adjunct only to the loss of life. That’s wrong. Nearly any sort of loss can cause grief. The loss of a job, a relationship, an ability, a home, an experience, and yes, an election, can all be grief inducing.
Grief follows losses of every sort, and life is rife with loss. Before it’s over, we’ll lose everything in our material existence, including our physical form. (Spirit is untroubled by this. Life is an illusory experience designed to support each soul’s expression and evolution. We all return home after our day of playing cops and robbers in God’s backyard. Nothing real is ever lost.)
Seeing that loss is an inherent part of our life experience, it makes sense to learn how to manage it and use it to improve our lives. It really is possible to emerge from the experience of grief more alive.
Loss, Grief and I have been on an intimate retreat for a couple of years now. My mom died of a terminal illness. I left a 12-year relationship. I put my once dream home on the market. I stopped writing, speaking, podcasting, and taking new work. My daughter went to college. Yep, Loss, Grief and me . . . we’re family.
While on their face, Loss and Grief seem like jerks with penchants for destruction, they’re actually far more positive. They’re clarifying guides to your greatest expression. If you let them, here’s what Loss and Grief will teach you:
- What really matters to you and what wastes your time.
- What to do more of and what to stop doing.
- To actively and presently appreciate and care for what you value.
- Who you really are and what you really want.
- Who you want to be closer to and who to release.
- What needs your focus and attention.
- That you are more than all you face.
- How to accept and adapt to change.
- How to let go.
As you learn the foregoing, your life will become richer and simpler. You’ll know what’s important to you and what actions and ways of being give your life personal meaning.
Give in and be open. Let Loss and Grief have their way with you. Feel them, learn from them, let them remake you. Be patient, kind and gentle with yourself. Trust their process and know you’ll make it out to the other side. When you do, take all that remains and channel it into what you deem good.
In practical terms, this could mean:
- more actively communicating your love and affection
- changing your schedule/life to give you more time with those you love
- becoming politically active
- donating time/money to causes you support
- taking better care of your health
- devoting time every day to your most cherished dreams
- leaving negative/unhealthy situations
- no longer putting things off
- making the changes necessary to live the life you want to live
Make no mistake, none of this is easy. However, I can tell you firsthand, it’s beyond worth it. Give yourself some compassion. Take stock of all of the losses you’ve lived through and honor your heart. It’s going to be okay. Now, focus on making it better than okay.
I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment and tell me what you’re going to do: