Words to live by!
LIFE 014: 10 Tips for Extraordinary Self-Care
10 Tips for Extraordinary Self-care. Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here and choosing “save as”. Description: Life is inherently stressful. It's easy...
LIFE 013: Top 5 Ways You Sabotage Your Success and Happiness
Top 5 Ways You Sabotage Your Happiness and Success. An updated version of this show was recorded on 10/7/22. Listen to it here: REWRITTEN with Cynthia Occelli Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by...
LIFE 012: 8 Steps to Clear Your Consciousness and Connect with Your Intuition
Clear your mind and connect with your wisest self. Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here and choosing “save as”. Description: You are intuitive, whether you...
LIFE 011: The Richest Woman in Babylon: Practical Money Mastery
Practical Money Mastery, become the richest woman in Babylon Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here and choosing “save as”. Description: Do you struggle...
LIFE 010: The Mirror of Money: Your Consciousness and Money
Money and your mind. Take a look into your money mirror and change what you see Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here and choosing “save as”. ...
LIFE 009: Starting Over: 10 Things You Need to Know
How to start over and thrive: 10 Things You Need to Know About Starting Over. Listen: Listen on iTunes.Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by...
LIFE 008: Your Road Map to Guaranteed Success
What's holding you back? What gets in the way of you achieving your goals, having your dreams, and living the life your heart desires? Today, we're going to dissolve your obstacles, and give you a road map to success. Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on...
LIFE 007: Stop Waiting and Start Living
You know that other life, the one you ache to live? It follows you around waiting its turn, waiting for someday to finally get here. Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here...
LIFE 006: Attracting Love, Being Beautiful, and What (Desirable) Men Want
Attracting Love, Being Beautiful, and What Men Want Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here and choosing “save...
LIFE 005: Guilt, Toxic Relationships, Single-Motherhood, Getting Unstuck, Forgiveness
We all struggle with similar challenges and worries, things like guilt, single-motherhood, getting unstuck, forgiveness, boundaries and following our passions while still paying the rent. In this episode of The LIFE by Cynthia Occelli show, I'm answering the questions...
LIFE 004: The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Dreams
Is it really possible for you to have your deepest desires and dreams? Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here and choosing “save as”. ...
LIFE 003: Before you judge another woman, consider this.
Have you ever harshly judged another woman for not living up to your definition of right behavior? Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by right-clicking here and choosing “save as”. ...
LIFE 002: 10 things I wish someone had told me about life
It's never too late to learn and benefit from these game-changing insights about self-esteem, confidence, money, relationships, and more.Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher. Stream by clicking here. Download an MP3 of the show by...
LIFE 001: Surrender Victimhood and Take Your Power Back
Victim thinking may be the greatest impediment to successful living. It stems from the belief that someone or something else is responsible for the content, quality, or experience of your life. Listen: Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Stream by...
Are you a relationship junkie?
All people suffer from a sense of inadequacy in some area or time in life. It's normal and it presents us with the opportunity to grow, evolve and become better people, but when deep feelings of lack, insecurity and unworthiness become pervasive, many people look to...
10 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me About Life
10 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me About Life: 1) Gossipers gossip. Gossiping—speaking negatively about others who aren’t present—is a vile habit. It’s driven by insecurity, and anyone who gossips to you about others is also (or will soon be) gossiping about...
Behind the scenes of this “Pollyanna”
Many of you don't know about me. You think I'm "pollyanna," and the only reason I can say the hopeful and positive things I say so fervently is because I've never had it hard. You decide: I dropped out of 9th grade and hung out with gang-members and convicts.I...
Soothing the Sacred Ache
Have you ever achieved a goal, something that was supposed to make you feel wonderful once you achieved it, and still felt incomplete? Do you long for something that you can’t even describe?...
8 Steps to Clean Your Inner House & Connect with Your Intuition
You are intuitive, whether you realize it or not. There's a higher knowing within you. It's always there and available to support you. It may communicate or express itself as a feeling, a vision, a voice, or a simple knowing. The challenge for most people is in...
I Coulda’ Won State: My Life-changing Lesson
Have you ever defied what you knew was right out of fear of being wrong? Have you ever so underestimated yourself that you blew a tremendous opportunity? If so, this is for you. When I was around 10-years-old, I competed in the California State Baton Twirling...
Which comes first: courage, confidence, or determination?
How many times have you wanted to do something new, or take a risk, and instead of stepping up and attempting it, you stepped back and wished that you were more confident? Is there something in your life that you really want, but you’re waiting to have the confidence...
All the things you get to do
It's easy to wax positivity, quote wisdom teachings, and beam with light when life is pleasant and comfortable. It's in crisis that one learns how much of one's talk is actually real for them. My core beliefs are solid, and I am still human. I've had days best...
Chakras, Angels, Guides & Generosity: My Mom’s Energy Healing Visit
If you're a 'what you see is what you get,' concrete, logical type, today's post might be a challenge for you. Give it a chance. Only the pig-headed and the naive know all there is to know about Life and Creation. Open up to learning, growing, and trust your center,...
The KEY to your success: Tend to your whole life.
If life presented you with a challenge today—job loss, divorce, illness, business failure, loss/upset of any kind—how would you fare? Would the other areas of your life serve as life-rafts and comforters, or would they exacerbate the challenge? As a coach, teacher,...
Fierce Grace: Letting Go & Making Things Happen
When faced with challenges and changes, there's often an overwhelming desire to cling to what you had, or want. It's natural. Babies do it. Animals do it. People do it. Yet, it's tantamount to trying to swim up a waterfall. This is the time to surrender. Surrender...
Why forgiveness is the best revenge (and how to do it)
Every challenge presents an opportunity to forgive. If you refuse this opportunity, you continue to suffer and keep the pain alive. It’s common for decades old injuries to bleed fresh when you’re carrying the burden of unforgiveness. Who suffers most from the anger,...
How to create peace in crisis
My last journey through crisis was messy. I was blindsided, and up until then, I’d managed most of my life with two qualities: logic and action. Both were of very little use at the bedside of an ailing life-partner. Logic didn’t help the hole in my center, and no...
My Worst Nightmare and What I Did Differently
On a personal note... A couple of days ago, my mother was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance—just like my then husband, over a decade ago. She presented with a variety of neurological deficits—just as my husband did. Today, she's in the same hospital that...
Why your love life stinks
One of the most common questions I receive involves women settling for lackluster, or downright rotten, romantic relationships. Why do so many women hold onto men who lie, cheat, mistreat, free-load, create misery, and/or over consume? Is it because they “love”...
3 Unexpected Tips to Promote Inner Peace
We're all pretty aware of the common suggestions for increasing inner peace and reducing stress: exercise, meditate, eat well, and get enough sleep—all fantastic and vital aspects of well-being. But, there's so much more we can do to support ourselves. Here are my top...
This ONE “negative” trait is a huge gift
Jealousy. A heavy, matted sensation settled in my belly. It showed up to ruin my day and it looked as though it would succeed. I'm human and I still feel this ugly sensation sometimes. It usually rears up when I see someone living an experience that I want to have....
Letting Go, Not Giving Up
Letting go is an integral and unavoidable part of life. It allows us to release people, experiences, and outcomes that we have no control over. It lightens our burden and creates freedom where we were bound. It calls on higher energies and opens the way for perfect...
Here’s why you lack self-love
Most women know that self-love is a cornerstone of a healthy, happy, and rewarding life. A woman who genuinely loves herself chooses relationships, careers, and habits that reflect how she feels about herself. She enjoys her own company and people are drawn to...
My reaction to being wrongfully accused
There are milestones on the journey to self-actualization. This week I reached a big one. I received a letter from my accountant's collection department instructing me to call them with my credit card number immediately because my bill was long past due. The tone of...
The surprise fountain of youth and health that we all have but don’t use
In the 1700’s, Native Americans were observed to be a culture that venerated aging. The elders were considered wise, most valuable, and honored. On the same soils---three-hundred-years-later---a culture of age resisting people spends billions of dollars fighting to...
The Myth of Job Security and Why It’s Wise to Follow Your Passion
No matter how accomplished, successful, or secure you feel, there is no security in working for someone else. Last year, I had the honor of sitting on a panel at a women’s conference attended by many of Hollywood’s most successful female executives. The topics were:...
How to snap out of the scarcity trance
We live in a world that believes scarcity is real. It's both a psychology and a choice, a choice often inflicted on others by people in power. In truth, abundance is a natural state. Nature has no limits. There is enough food on the planet to feed the world. There's...
The Value of Jealousy (Yes, I still get jealous too)
Think you're the only one who feels jealous sometimes? It was a normal Wednesday morning. I woke up in the home I've built--surrounded by flowers, trees, three dogs, a kitten, and a family of people for whom I'd give my life. The sun was shining and the stifling heat...
Top Five Things Men Need to Know About Women
http://youtu.be/niFIWawMnZA
How to find the opportunity in adversity and failure
"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." ~ Napoleon Hill Can you find the opportunity in adversity and failure? Perceived failure, challenging situations, difficult relationships, and adverse events are...
The most important hour of your life?
At the end of your life, will you be satisfied and content with how you've lived? The bad news is that unless you discover and abide by your heart's desires, the answer will be no. The good news is that you're alive and it's not too late to create a regret-free life....
Three Lessons from my Waiting to Exhale Weekend
Remember the movie Waiting to Exhale with Angela Basset and Whitney Houston? It was about a group of women who in the midst of life’s challenges--divorce, infidelity, teenagers, dating, money troubles, loneliness and more--come together as friends and support each...
Why I don’t care about being nice to you
One of my commitments to myself is to be conscious of life's opportunities for deepening growth and meaning. I've missed many prospects for valuable learning, bonding and enjoyment by being caught up in the past or the future, focusing on the negative things around...
Where do you need to surrender?
My client Sarah had struggled to create a profitable and rewarding business for almost five years. She was clear about her vision. She’d done all of the work, both inner and outer---consulted experts, taken courses, worked hard to learn all she could, and done...
Should you give up something good for the potential of something better?
Last week, I decided to dramatically reduce my one-on-one coaching practice. I thoroughly enjoy coaching. Yet, I am at a place that I have to choose between the good that I have and a new dream. This decision was a long time coming; I tried to find ways to do it all...
How to change your mind and change your life
As we begin week 2 of the 21-day fast from negative self-judgment and criticism, I am reminded of just how powerful and insidious our inner voices are. If you’re new to the fast, it’s not too late to begin. You can follow at www.facebook.com/lifeblog and find the...
Day 2 of the 21 day fast from negative self-judgment and criticism
If you’re doing the 21 day fast from negative self-judgment and criticism, you are beginning to realize just how badly you speak to yourself. The important thing here is not to make bad worse by judging or criticizing yourself for this too. You are not what you think...
What I learned while watching people die
Saturday, I had the opportunity to give a talk to 30 women in Spirit Lake Iowa. These are some of the ideas I shared. I saw several women wake up to these truths. It was beautiful for me and I count it as one of the most important things I have ever done. Forty-two...
What’s a Father’s Worth?
I grew up in the afterglow of the women's liberation movement. My father was absent and that was just fine, according to the women in my life. Fathers, men in general, were optional accessories. Decades of growth, reflection, and healing later, I've come to...
If this bothers you, you’re likely selling yourself short
My friend Robin Colucci and I were discussing boundaries and we answered the following email question: "Cynthia, I run a consulting business and my prices are higher than what some other people in my field charge, but I also give a lot more value and include more...
How to Forgive a Monster
A few days ago, in a post on Patheos titled Spiritual, but Human, I shared my struggle with hateful feelings and non-forgiveness toward the monster who brutally held three women in captivity for nearly a decade in Cleveland. My feelings were raw and honest....
YOU, The Chosen One
As we round out April (self-love month), let this river continue to run. Hold to this truth, Beautiful Sister, you're the chosen one: "38. You, The Chosen One Out of eternity, your name was called to receive life, a gift that trumps them all. Imprisoned within the...
Forgiveness is Freedom! It’s time to set yourself free.
This week, I've received a plethora of questions about forgiveness. People have asked: What is forgiveness? Why should I forgive? Doesn't it let the other person off? What's in it for me? How do I forgive? and the biggie: How can I forgive myself?...
What does the Repressed Feminine mean and how does it harm women?
THIS SHOW IS AVAILABLE TO LISTEN TO from 4/18/13 to 4/25/13, free. click here: THE RESURRECTING VENUS SHOW! There's a lot of talk about feminine energy and its power to create happier and more fulfilling lives. At the same time, many women (and men) feel confused;...
How to Stop Energy Vampires from Draining You
"TO BE FREE, you can't remain naive about relationships. Some people are positive, mood-elevating, sustaining. Others can suck optimism and serenity right out of you."--Dr. Judith Orloff My guest today on the Resurrecting Venus Show (Hay House Radio) is Dr. Judith...
Healthy Boundaries Will Set You Free!
Happy Self-love month! We're continuing our April commitment to actively practice self-love. Last week, I shared 21 Ways to Love Yourself. This week our self-love work is to set and uphold healthy boundaries---a LIFE CHANGING SKILL! In March, my guest Robin Colucci...
21 Ways to Love Yourself!
For the next month, commit to putting yourself first. Be kind, understanding, and forgiving. If you are tired, rest. If you're sad, ask someone who loves you for support. If you make a mistake, comfort yourself and let it go. When your inner critic tells you that...
10 Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are a vital key to success and without them life is stressful, unproductive and out of sync with our deepest desires. 1) Get your priorities straight. Choose boundaries that support and protect what matters most to you. If your heart’s desire is to start...
The life transforming power of setting boundaries
Boundaries! We all need them. They shape our happiness, success and the quality of our relationships. When you say yes to one thing, you're also saying no to something else. When the motive for your agreement is what they will think of you, you betray yourself. When...
Self-indulgence, Self-care or Self-abdication?
Self-care: Doing what it takes to make your life easier, healthier, brighter, and more comfortable so that you can express your gifts and potentials. Self-indulgence: Doing whatever numbs or suppresses an upset or problem or temporarily makes you feel better, only to...
My Living Room
I shared some posts on Facebook about romance, passion and the power of having a masculine/feminine polarity in a committed relationship. As always, it sparked a lot of discussions. Many women agreed and confidently stated their desire to be loved by a man who is...
21 Affirmations that shifted my life
I found an OLD document on a computer disc (ha! I said it was old), it contained the following affirmations. Reading them brought me back to the time I wrote them. It was the longest "night" of my life---a night filled with swirling, sucking, relentless fire. What I...
The Surprising Reason You Must Embrace Abundance
On The Resurrecting Venus Radio Show, we gazed into the Mirror of Money. During the show, I referenced Maslow's (basic) Hierarchy of Needs (pictured below). Maslow's hierarchy shows us that in order for us to reach our greatest expression--self-actualization--we...
The Recipe for Meaningful Success
Success is commonly defined as: 1. The accomplishment of an aim or purpose. 2. The attainment of popularity or profit. This definition falls short of meaningful success. It's close, but it is missing one key element: personal fulfillment. I've met many people,...
Step 7 in Manifesting Your Heart’s Desires
In the past, I have recapped 6 of the 7 steps to Manifesting Your Heart's Desires and promised to share step 7. Here's step 7 - (Be warned I have just jotted all of this down, copy and pasted from a few places and shared it as I'm rushing out the door - I want you to...
How to Believe in Yourself
Believing in yourself is a major distinguishing characteristic between future success and falling short. When you believe in yourself you'll persevere and bank and bet on yourself. You'll have the support of the ONE person who has the power to change everything in...
The Power of Commitment to Your Dreams
Step three in creating your dreams is: Committing to Your Dreams. The following quote beautifully expresses the power of this step: "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative...
Releasing Regret
Regret is the feeling we experience when we look at a past event that didn't turn out the way we wanted and wish we had made different choices or we look at our life and wish we had pursued a different (career, romantic, personal, etc.) path. One is specific to a...
Three Limiting Beliefs That Will Ruin Your Life
Mistakes and failures are bad. You don't have to love them, but realize that they are strewn all over the path to success. Perfectionism leads to smallness. Accept that you make mistakes and fail, so does everyone you admire. Importantly, those we admire most...
What Being Feminine Really Means
After spending more than year focusing on the power of femininity and writing my book Resurrecting Venus: Embrace Your Feminine Power, I've learned that many women have no idea what femininity really means. Many women associate femininity with being weak, recessive,...
Empower Yourself by Asking for Help
There is no gold medal for doing everything yourself. It doesn't make you a better, stronger, or more deserving woman. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable and to ask for help. Graciously accept it, and feel good about it. You'll have opportunities to help...
The Secret to The Secret
There's no cosmic vending machine waiting for you to name and claim your desires. However, there is a principle as consistent and reliable as gravity. To have what you want you must become it in thought and action. You cannot create a love-filled life while you...
10 Tips for Starting Over
Sooner or later we are all faced with the desire or need to start over. The following 10 tips for starting over will help you succeed. Accept where you are. In difficult or unwanted situations the greatest barrier to moving forward and creating positive change is...
Toxic people causing you grief? Here’s what you need to know.
Sometimes we end up in situations with people who say and do things that, if taken personally, hurt or upset us. Coworkers, family members, customers, pseudo-friends and people in illusory positions of superiority (teachers, judges, bosses etc.) are the usual...
Delays Are Not Denials
Recently, I've talked with many people who are feeling great despair over the state of their lives. They are self-motivated and positive people who approach life with good intentions, compassion for all, and a strong work ethic. Yet, lately everything they touch...
The Feminine Art of Shapeshifting
Femininity and weakness are synonymous to many. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some feminine strengths are nearly indefensible. Shapeshifting is one of them. Shapeshifting is the ability to take whatever form necessary to create a desired outcome. ...
What NOT to Say
If your goal is to have loving, strongly bonded intimate relationships, build trust, or even just maintain a decent rapport with the people in your life, make it a practice to refrain from using the following inverse reaction inducing phrases: "You need to relax."...
The God Box
The moments before we drift off to sleep are powerfully creative. We cross the bridge between our conscious and unconscious mind. Yet, before we can use those moments for good, we must clear space. This will help you. The God Box --a sacred container devoted to your...
The Time I Proved the Law of Attraction in the Worst Way
Many years ago, I was in a terrible situation. I had to travel to a foreign country to handle a legal/family issue that I was very unhappy about. I knew about the trip many months in advance and that gave me plenty of time to worry, dread and project all of my fears...
Anything is Possible
The decision to embrace possibility throws the floodgates of life wide open. Often we fall into regular mental patterns, assume we know all there is to know about a situation, and are able to predict every outcome. The truth is there are countless perspectives to view...
Get Present
When grappling with a difficult moment, ask: Where in time is the source of my angst? Often the thing upsetting us is buried in the past or projected into the future. The past is gone, be done with it. The future is a fantasy. Return to now. There is no other time you...
Please help me chose my book’s cover
Thank you for agreeing to help me choose the cover image for my book. I am extraordinarily grateful and appreciate you co-creating this special book with me. Our goal is to choose the image that best reflects the title and content of the book. Here's some...
Dispelling the Feminine Myth
The word femininity has taken a bad rap. Many associate it with weakness and the same people tend to associate masculinity with harmful aggression. What they are really describing is the world's ego running unchecked. Femininity is a powerfully beneficial strength, as...
How I quieted my inner critic
We all have one. Mine is a wizened old hag who's been with me for as long as I can remember. I've named her the Haggard Doubter; she used to paralyze me. I came across an excerpt from my memoir (unpublished) and it reminded me of the hold she once had: I could...
Apprentice or Impostor?
Apprentice - one who is learning by practical experience a trade, art, or calling. Impostor - one who pretends to be something he or she is not. The purpose of this post is not to place blame or cast judgment. It is to raise our awareness of ourselves. Recently, I...
The Power of Forgiveness
There's much confusion about what forgiveness is and what it is not. It is not the continued acceptance of bad behavior. It's not turning the other cheek. It's setting yourself free and releasing the negative energy. Here's a short audio to help you understand:...
Barriers to Embracing Your Purpose in Work
Each day I go to my studio full of joy; in the evening when obliged to stop because of darkness I can scarcely wait for the morning to come . . . My work is not only a pleasure, it has become a necessity. No matter how many other things I have in my life, if I...
The Divine Conspiracy for Your Success
"What is my purpose?" "Why am I here?" Having grappled with these questions myself and helped many people discover their unique answers too, I know how fundamental this question is to living fulfilling, happy, and genuinely successful lives. The purpose of...
One Last Gift for You
My daughter compiled a selection of quotes I wrote and shared on my Facebook Page during 2011. She put them in a file that I've attached here for you. It has typos, the fonts aren't consistent, and I love it. Print it out, mark it up, make it yours. These are...
Putting the Past in its Proper Place
Last post, we sifted through 2011 and identified the people, events, actions, and thoughts that brought us good and those that didn’t. I enjoyed reflecting on my life this year. It was an amazing year of growth for me. It was not easy or comfortable. I faced many...
An Announcement and a Confession
I have some exciting news (YAY!) and a confession (Not so Yay). Click the image below: Here's a relevant blog about protecting yourself from media/advertising/pop culture messages: The Watchman at Gate
The Sacred Ache of a Woman’s Heart
Have you ever achieved a goal, something that was supposed to make you feel wonderful once you achieved it, and still felt incomplete? Do you long for something that you can't even describe? Do you ever find yourself in the midst of "having it all" and feel like...
The Assault on Femininity Part Two
My last post The Assault on Femininity, triggered intense feelings for many women. A large group expressed relief and agreement; they saw themselves in my writing and were grateful someone else understands their struggle. Several stay-at-home moms wrote in...
The Assault on Femininity
In response to my last post: My Return to Femininity and the 2009 posts, Reclaiming Womanhood: Part 1 and Part 2, I've received several emails asking what I meant by femininity, what is it, and do they even have it* (read the footnote). I am writing this post to lay a...
My Return to Femininity
On October 19, 2009, I wrote one of my first blog-posts: “Reclaiming Womanhood – It’s not what you think.” The seeds planted by this idea had already taken root and begun to change the course of my life. In exploring what it means to be a feminine woman in...
How to shatter limiting beliefs and destroy fears
(click here or the image to play) No matter how far along the path of self development and improvement one has traveled, one is always in process. If you are doing anything meaningful with your life, you're encountering limiting beliefs and fears. I'm right there with...
The Other Side of Lollipops and Rainbows
Even the most Pollyanna, enlightened or optimistic people feel unmotivated or pessimistic sometimes. They feel afraid, worried and irritated, too. Today was a dark day for me, it felt like I was living underwater. I felt slow, dissatisfied and blue. Being well versed...
The Alchemy of Pain
A woman died. She wasn't ready to go. There was so much left to complete. Driver's licenses, graduations, careers and new families haven't happened, yet. Her home, marriage and career weren't the way she wanted. She was in the middle of life, she wasn't ready. We...
10 Tenets of Fighting Fair
This post's title is a misnomer because there is rarely a justification to fight. Aside from a threat to your immediate safety, the protection of a child or some other dire circumstance, fighting is a no no. Perhaps a better title would be, "How to disagree with...
The Simple But Hidden Key to Manifesting Success
I wrote this post after several months of working with two people who'd fallen prey to teachings of spiritual/mental positivity alone as a method to achieve desires and happiness. We Walk in Two Worlds As spiritual beings residing on a physical plane, the greater...
10 Meditation Myths
Recently, I shared my meditation practice and the impact it's had on my life with a new friend. She was intrigued, but her demeanor immediately changed. I noticed her becoming more cautious in her word and subject choices, as though she was in the company of someone...
Have you looked into the Mirror of Money?
Do you routinely, and for no rational reason, charge less than fair market value for your products or services? Do you take less so someone, lesser or equally entitled, can have more? Do you accept gifts and compliments graciously? There are those who may...
The Great Waste
Imagine if I could give you a box containing each moment you've ever spent worrying, doubting or stressing. What if you could take the time in that box and devote it to something important to you? How much could you have achieved, created or loved with that...
If you can’t say this one word, you’re doomed
Do you say yes to requests you'd rather decline or, worse, cause you upset, discomfort, financial or emotional harm? If you do, you're a one in a vast group of people (women and men, but more women than men) who struggle with setting boundaries. Many people feel...
Here’s why clinging to what you have is a HUGE mistake – let go
We cannot obtain what we lack if we tenaciously cling to what we have. --Charles F. Haanel I posted the above quote on my Facebook Page. In response, I received emails and comments requesting clarification of its meaning. I do not profess to know precisely what it...
Whose life is it anyway?
Whose life are you living? Can you truthfully answer: yours? Years ago, I asked myself this question followed by the more clarifying query: Is this the life I want to live? It wasn't. I was living an amalgamation of other people's life instructions. It wasn't...
Line in the Sand
Draw a line across today's date on your calendar, or through your mind's time line. Everything behind the line is finished and it won't serve you to ruminate in its vapors. Today you're in the business of building tomorrow. The future...
Turning to the Full Cups
I don't believe in living life based on predictions; I know that at every moment we possess the power to influence and change the trajectory of our health, finances, relationships and careers, essentially our entire lives. But I am fascinated by the wisdom...
This Week
This week, you will encounter: A man who was badly abused as a child. A woman who's recently lost a baby. A child whose family lost their home in foreclosure. A person battling a life threatening illness. Someone who's lost faith in everything. You'll recognize...
Letting Go
Most upset is derived from our unwillingness to accept or release something. Like holding water, the tighter we grasp the less we have. Often the intense energy we expend clinging to something is the single greatest obstacle to our good. We greatly improve...
Coming Home
The more criticism of self, the lower one's level of happiness and confidence. Create space between that voice in your head and your consciousness. Begin coming home. On the surface, it appears we're dealing thought alone. Yet, the source of these toxic thoughts bears...
Are you spinning yarns?
Unbeknownst to most of us, we are masterful storytellers. The instant someone does or doesn't do something, the storyteller in our mind goes to work crafting the story behind the situation. For example: Man meets a woman and asks if he can call her to arrange...
Are You Prepared?
Most success results from the conflux, or flowing together, of a great opportunity and a person able to seize it. Opportunities abound. We needn't concern ourselves, it is the natural work of the universe. Our responsibility is to do the daily work of becoming...
Free Guided Video Meditation for Prosperity
When friends ask me how to make a major leap from a place of unhappiness to somewhere deeply desired (i.e. sadness to fulfillment, loneliness to friendship/community, lack to prosperity, negative thinking to joyful expression, dead-end to dreams, etc.), my...
Honor Thyself
Recently, I participated in an online discussion about relationships. At first, the exchanges were thoughtful and interesting. In time, however they became vulgar, graphic and offensive. Initially, I responded by ignoring the graphic language and focusing on my...
Interior Design
One of the greatest obstacles to living one's best life is a cluttered mind -- a mind filled with thoughts, emotions, memories and audio clips from other people. Taken individually, no single bit of clutter matters, but collectively they create a mountain, separating...
To All the Single Ladies
For my latest book, I asked men around the world to send me descriptions of what they find attractive in a woman. I expected to receive a few scant responses from my email & Facebook Page requests and hoped my clients and friends would be willing to fill in the...
Stop Waiting for Life to Change
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain How much time have...
You Can Handle Anything Now
Where in time is the source of your worries and upsets? It's usually buried in the past or projected into the future. The past is a vapor and it no longer exists. The future is a fantasy shaped by the thoughts you feed it. In the overwhelming majority of experiences...
The Secrets You Encounter Every Day
This week, you will encounter: A man who was badly abused as a child. A woman who's recently lost a baby. A child whose family lost their home in foreclosure. A person battling a life-threatening illness. Someone who's lost faith in everything. You'll recognize these...
Detoxing the Mind Part Four
The Inner Work Becoming aware of the fears and beliefs that shape our lives is a tremendous first step on the path to freedom from self-limitation. (See posts Detox the Mind, Part one, and Detox the Mind, Part Two.) Once we've identified hindering beliefs and...
Detoxing the Mind Part Two
As I mentioned in part one, the things standing between you and your heart's desires are your beliefs. In response, I received an email stating that some desires cannot be attained regardless of beliefs. Based on the writer's examples, I agree. If your "desire" is to...
How to Detox Your Mind (Part 1)
Mental toxins, the weight of the past and fears not tied to facts can sabotage every attempt at success and happiness. Because they "live" inside of us, we believe they are us. In truth, they are the beliefs, negative thoughts and conclusions we've drawn from people...
LOVE: The Verb
We are co-creators of our lives, whatever we send out returns, sooner or later, and what we focus on expands. If we move through the world feeling as though we are part of a family, the human family, and we give love to that family, when possible and not in...
Preciousness of Rarity
In honor of National STD Awareness Month & my friends at Bloggers Unite I'm reposting this post from June 09. Though not motivated by a desire to reduce STDs*, following the wisdom in this post does an outstanding job of it. Rare treasures are...
Earth Angels
When I was a child, I thought angels were luminescent beings with flowing hair and wings who flitted around gracing those lucky enough to earn their favor. My view changed when my world collapsed around me. In the midst of bad getting worse, I was supported,...
Prevailing over the Shadows
"An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadows. An idealist, however, is one who sees the light and the shadows, but in addition sees something else: the possibility of changing the picture, of making the...
Altitude
Many upsetting situations are far less significant than we think. Sometimes our faces are pressed so firmly into the tree trunk before us that we don't realize we're in a beautiful forest. Stepping back and unemotionally analyzing the facts of our situation can often...
THIS is what’s stopping you from being who you want to be
I had lunch with a lovely friend today. She's a wealth of love, talent and ability. For many years she's shied away from her innate gifts because of thoughts like, "Who would listen to me?" and "Am I good enough to do this?" In an effort to legitimize...
Dancing on the Precipice of Everything
The Precipice, the edge where one can simultaneously view their dreams realized and decimated. The view is magnificent and terrifying. The greater the desire, the deeper the fear, the higher the Precipice. Anyone pursuing a dream, sooner or later, must stand on...
Seek Wisely
What you seek is seeking you.–Rumi As you travel through life, notice what are you seeking. What you are seeking and what you want may not be aligned. Are you finding discord, suffering, aggression, loneliness, gossip, scarcity and upset? Or abundance, hope, kindness,...
Ladies: Settle for the Best
To my male readers, please know that this post is not about you. I've talked with so many of you that I know you're the kind of men my female readers need. (Hmmm there may be a idea there . . . ) Daily, I receive questions and horror stories from women about men who...
It’s All In Your Head
Five ordinary students are sitting in a classroom listening to a lecture. A student picks up his mobile phone and begins pressing its keys. His fellow classmates notice and each makes a judgment. Classmate #1 thinks - Disrespectful jerk; he should have waited...
It’s Valentine’s Day!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! The commercials are airing and the leaflets flying, "Show the one you love how much they mean to you." In order to successfully demonstrate your love, you must buy dinner, flowers and/or gifts on February 14th. I've had my share of dinners in...
101 Game Changing Keys to Life
Don't take advice from people you wouldn't want to end up like. If they'll do it to someone else, they'll do it to you. Tell the truth, most if not, all darkness comes to light anyway. You do not have the power, and shouldn't try, to change anyone. No one else...
A Good Lover
Have you ever lost someone you love before you'd told them what they meant to you? If you have, my heart is with you, it's an unparalleled pain. You can still tell them. You won't receive the same response, but it still matters. If you think you'll never heal,...
Relatives, Relationships & Reality
Most of us were taught that labels like "mother," "friend," "brother," etc. are something more than words used to describe how one knows another. As a society, we attach tremendous meaning to labels and consequently suffer intense upset when people fail to live up...
Shattered Moments
Supporting others through difficult times is an important part of my work and life. Currently, I'm helping a woman who's recently lost her husband. Unfortunately, he didn't make arrangements to provide for her after his death. Dealing with the pain of...
Give the Most Selfish Gift
(This post, from last year, was taken offline and archived with the 2009 posts. I re-post it today, at the request of a friend.) As we go through life we cannot help but feel negative emotions from some interactions. Whether the upset is at a rude store...
Show Me
If you want to be a real friend, don't tell me that you are, show me. If you love me, telling me isn't enough, show me. If you appreciate my work, waxing about it is nice but, show me. If you're thrilled to be my mom or dad, don't just think it, show me. What...
Magic Words
I'm sorry. Whether business or personal, all relationships encounter conflict sooner or later. In these moments, we learn and show others who we are. It isn't always easy to admit we're wrong. At a minimum, it’s uncomfortable. Don’t let that get in the way of...
LIFElines
In response to your feedback regarding your blog preferences, I've made some changes. Instead of writing frequent lengthy posts, my daily blog posts will now be short snippets of life enhancing wisdom. For those who enjoy deeper, more intense, strategies, ideas...
5 Things Women Need to Know about Men
--- Daily, I have conversations with women who are struggling with their men. After countless discussions with men of every age, class, race and status, it's become clear that the majority of upsets fall into five key areas. In an effort to shed some love and...
5 Things Men Need to Know about Women
After receiving a ton of email and engaging in countless conversations with men baffled by the women in their lives, I've put together a list of the most common insights many men are unaware of. This list applies to committed couples, not casual daters. Be...
7 Simple Steps to Well-being
Have you gone through something tough? Are you still navigating it? Personal challenges, things like a death, loss, financial challenge, divorce, or any experience that shakes your core and makes you feel stressed are often beyond your control. How you fare,...
Seth Godin nailed it today
Seth Godin, the generous genius of marketing, wrote a blog today that is so spot on, I must share it with you. Read it here: The world's worst boss Read this post whether you're self-employed, work for someone else, or are unemployed. The message applies to...
Enough about Me, Let’s Talk about Me
Me and my best friend. That's how I feel when I post stuff about me. Yet, I understand your desire to know, just who is this lady filling my mind with ideas about, a subject of such unparalleled importance, LIFE? I applaud that question. It shows that you're...
Pearls before Swine
"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." - KJV, Matthew 7:6 You will never change another. The decision to change can only be made by...
Cease
Cease conforming to the world. Conform to the standard of all power, all worthiness, all possibility. Conform to the you that existed before the world assigned you your identity. Therein lies your happiness, success, freedom and bliss. Therein lies your...
Rising Tides
Sometimes the task of improving our lives seems overwhelming. We use the excuse of not enough time, money, space, freedom or patience to do all the work required to repair, renew or begin again. When the problems seem gargantuan, step back and hone in on one thing...
What Forgiveness is Not
Forgiveness is not the acceptance of continued bad behavior. You are responsible for your care and safety, emotional and physical. When someone harms you, they have shown you who they are, believe them. Thinking that they are someone apart from their behavior is your...
A bit about me . . .
Recently, the lovely Gillean Smith (aka BusinessLife), a writer, at BrooWaha interviewed and introduced me. If you'd like to know more about me, have a look at the following link. Cynthia Occelli Interview Happy weekend!
Feel
Sometimes the allure of ending something no longer wanted and living something far better is so enticing that we rush forward refusing to hear our inner feelings, thinking we can skip over them without consequence. Many refuse to get connected to their feelings...
It’s Your Field
Yesterday, I wrote about looking over the past year and decade to collect information about all the wonderful and not so wonderful experiences (read it here: Preparing to Harvest). If you haven't had the time to do this yet, no worries. Once you're clear on the...
Preparing to Harvest
This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Traditionally, it is a day of appreciation for the bounty of food the American settlers enjoyed. Whether you're in the US or not, this Thanksgiving in particular gives us an opportunity to take an...
Your Opinion, Please
I'm posting everyday, is it too much?survey software
Broken Hearts, Grief, and Death
Recently, I read Lynne McTaggart's fascinating blog post "All die of heartbreak," it's about the phenomenon of high death rates following the grief of losing a loved one. Lynn weaves together studies from around the world and reasons to the following conclusion: ...
Dont Fight the River
What They See Is What You Get
Note: I do not encourage nor discourage divorce. The focus of this post is to highlight a commonly ignored fact; our children learn from and emulate our behaviors, not our words. Have you ever:Yelled shut up
Hauling out the Big Guns
Yesterday, I went to a popular grocery store in West Los Angeles. The isles were packed with people. Every step presented a new obstacle. There was the man on a cell phone chatting away oblivious to the world around him. A wizened woman in a business suit...
This Major Obstacle to Your Success Isn’t Even Yours!
Bree is an executive by day and aspiring fashion designer the rest of the time. For two years, she's sold her fashions to eager buyers at local trunk shows and small events. Her stuff is good, really good. With great enthusiasm, she shared her dream of...
Friendly Reminder
Right now, this moment, this is your life. It's not a dress rehearsal. What are you waiting for? ~ Cynthia
Tilling the Soil
Someone dear recently pointed out that 2011 is not only a new year, it's a new decade, a gateway to a new life. For so many, these past couple of years have been chaotic and challenging. We are the only ones who can change that and the timing couldn't be...
How to Use ANY NEGATIVE EMOTION for GOOD
If you're afraid of a future that you dread and you're paralyzed by it, in addition to falling under the spell of wrongly used imagination, you're a sitting duck. Inevitably, bad will come. There is no such thing as inaction here, by remaining locked inside your...
The Rockpile
In my last post, I shared my recent discovery of an area of life that, as a result of past painful experiences, I'd braced against and walled out. I decided to tear that wall down. Initially, it was easy. Riding high on the exhilaration of exciting change, I...
Tearing the walls down
I've grown a lot this month. I've discovered something so monumentally life impeding that dealing with it forced me to examine some very dark moments and tender places. I've been navigating my life with blinders on. I fashioned them with the sound, logical intent of...
Change Follows Focus
Energy flows where directed. When trying to change, instead of focusing on eliminating unwanted habits and states, focus on adding desired behaviors and actions. With a positive focus, on something you can do, rather than on what you can't do, the things you wish to...
The Power of Delayed Gratification
In the 1960's, Psychologists at Stanford studied a group of preschool students' ability to delay gratification in what have come to be called "the marshmallow studies." "They learned that that one’s ability to delay gratification “is quite a significant predictor of a...
Someday
"I'm only living this way so that someday I can follow my passions." "I'm working in a career I don't like, so that someday I don't have to." "If I keep trying, someday, my partner and I will get along." "Someday, I'll have everything and be happy."...
How to Cure the Blues
Right now do something to help someone. Volunteer, listen to someone who needs an ear, send money to those in need, buy dinner for a shelter resident. Give whatever you can. You can give physical labor, emotional support, money or items you don’t need anymore. The key...
My post for today (which coincidentally was about giving :)) has been preempted because I've learned that Step Up Women's Network is in the October running for a $250k grant from the Pepsi Refresh Challenge! Step up is comprised of amazing...
Reality Check
Do you have relationships with zero perceived benefits? Do they also cause you upset, stress and anxiety? It seems obvious that one shouldn't remain in a relationship like this, but we do. Often, we put up with untenable situations because: 1) We're living...
Interior Design
One of the greatest obstacles to living one's best life is a cluttered mind -- a mind filled with thoughts, emotions, memories and audio clips from people who do nothing to help us advance our cause. Taken individually, no single bit of clutter matters, but...
I’m Remodeling
I've received quite a few emails about my site today. Here's what's happening: I've moved to my own domain: www.cynthiaoccelli.com The site is temporarily slowed down pending a fix that will occur this weekend. All comments from the old site are here, but your likes,...
It’s time for you to get off of this life-destroying ride!
Most of us move through life carrying a dossier of beliefs taken from the past and, to greater and lesser degrees, bearing no truth. The falsity of the beliefs is irrelevant because what we call true is true for us. Like a virus, erroneous beliefs spread to the...
Dreamweaving: Protect & Detach (My First Vlog!)
I'm trying something new today - VLOGGING! - Please let me know what you think. Do you prefer written blogs, video blogs or both combined?
Success: A Daily Choice
As I meet more people through this blog, I repeatedly encounter the same question, "How did you turn your life around?" At first, I felt as though it would require a seven volume treatise to answer this question, but on reflection, it isn't so. The answer,...
My Story (well sorta)
If you've ever read this blog and wondered - Who is this woman? And where'd she get this stuff? - here's your chance to find out. BlogCatalog just posted a short interview about me. See it here: Cynthia's BlogCatalog Interview.
Detox the Mind, Part Five
We've identified toxic beliefs & fears in Detox the Mind, Part One & Part Two We looked at permanently dissolving fears and erroneous beliefs by proving their falsehood in Part Three. In Part Four, we began the process of fortifying ourselves and...
Detox the Mind, Part Four
The Inner Work Becoming aware of the fears and beliefs that shape our lives is a tremendous first step on the path to freedom from self limitation. (See posts Detox the Mind & Detox the Mind, Part Two) Once we've identified hindering beliefs and fears,...
Detox the Mind, Part Three
If you've read part one and two of Detox the Mind, you've probably identified some hindering beliefs and fears about you and life. Take some time to reflect on how these beliefs shape your experiences. Life mirrors beliefs. Every negative,...
Another Happy Day!
I write this blog for three reasons: 1) I believe that the betterment of anyone is the betterment of everyone, including me. 2) I know what it is to soar, shatter, pick up the pieces and learn to fly again. I must share. 3) It makes me happier than anything...
Detox the Mind, Part Two
My last post, stated that the things standing between you and your heart's desires are your beliefs. In response, I received an email stating that some desires cannot be attained regardless of beliefs. Based on the writer's examples, I...
Detox the Mind
Today is Day 1 of a detoxing cleanse I am doing with Julie Anne Rhodes, A Goddess In LA, Kathryn Davis and several friends. We're eating a very pure diet for three weeks to encourage and allow our bodies to release things it doesn't need and enhance our health. See...
Staying on Your Own Mat
Years ago, I started practicing yoga. I am, by nature, very flexible, but somewhat weak in my upper body. I recall watching with self satisfaction as my classmates struggled and suffered while trying to slide into a split that I could drop into...
Stress & the Mind, Body, Life Connection
Nothing happens in a vacuum; there is a connection at every level. Every act impacts someone or something else. This is true within our bodies too. Cellular biologist and epigenetics pioneer, Bruce Lipton, has beautifully presented the science behind the...
5 Things Couple’s Need to Know About Each Other
Today, as a result of a flurry of emails that can all be answered here, I am combining and re-posting two very popular posts, 5 Things Men Need to Know About Women & 5 Things Women Need to Know About Men. If you've read these before,...
A Point of Light in the Darkness
Years ago, my (then) husband suffered a devastating aneurysm. He was young, healthy and vibrant; I loved him tremendously. One afternoon, we were pursuing our dreams and celebrating our five-year-old daughter, the next I was standing in intensive care, praying...
How I became good enough
I found an exercise from a class I took years ago. The assignment was to answer the following questions: 1) What are the true desires of your heart (the ones that endure & create a feeling of expansion)? 2) What stands between you and your desires? 3) What are the...
Are You Living in a Trance of Fear?
Early in my career, my employer sent me to seminar on the psychology of selling. In essence, it was a course in manipulation. In words that made the act sound positive, we were taught to instill fearful beliefs in our customers so they, in an effort to end...
Becoming YOU
"The hell to be endured hereafter, of which theology tells, is no worse than the hell we make for ourselves in this world by habitually fashioning our characters in the wrong way . . . We are spinning our own fates, good or evil . . ." —The Principles of Psychology,...
The Preciousness of Rarity
Rare treasures are valued worldwide. Diamonds are really just pretty rocks that come out of the ground. They are prized more than other equally stunning rocks because they are incredibly scarce. Elite athletes do a great deal less for society than teachers, but...
A Call to the Path
A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with, the wind. - John Neal Spiritual and religious counselors alike state that a main purpose of our lives is to become our best selves and reunite with, or reveal, our creator....
Being the Eye of the Storm
At some point in life, for many of us it's often, we find ourselves surrounded by seeming chaos. Relationships spin out of control, we lose someone or something dear, our bodies aren't healthy, finances unravel, everything we've worked so hard for falls apart. When...
Relationship Success: Wise Compromise vs. Self Destruction
In relationships, I live by the mantra, "Lasting relationships are a series of compromises." The type of compromises we must make to create successful, lasting relationships vary widely. From little compromises that revolve around responsibilities, housekeeping...
Master of the Universe (aka your mind)
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." - Marcus Aurelius "If your mind can be calm, clear and bright, the environment will be affected...
When Forgiveness Becomes a River In Egypt
Two of my most popular posts are Forgiveness: The Most Selfish Gift and What Forgiveness is Not. Many people know that genuine forgiveness is a self-healing and life-restoring act. It clears away blockages in our hearts, minds, and lives. Victim-hood ceases where...
Only Fools Rush In
As Spring comes into full expression, I am receiving lots of emails from, and engaging in many conversations with, people who are alive with the titillating excitement of meeting a new love. Wholly consumed by infatuation, lust and the hope-filled seeds of love,...
A Very Lucky Lady
A gracious reader sent me the following email sent to her from her husband after an argument. Not only is this email a heartfelt apology, it is an example of a man confident in his masculinity and possessing of a full grasp his wife's needs. With permission, I share...
5 Things Men Need to Know About Women
After receiving a ton of email and engaging in countless conversations with men baffled by the women in their lives, I've put together a list of the most common insights many men are unaware of. This list applies to committed couples,...
