10 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me About Life:

1) Gossipers gossip.

Gossiping—speaking negatively about others who aren’t present—is a vile habit. It’s driven by insecurity, and anyone who gossips to you about others is also (or will soon be) gossiping about you. When you feel the urge to gossip it’s a signal that you need to invest in your self-esteem.

2) Self-esteem comes from making good choices, setting goals that you find meaningful and achieving them.

It comes from taking action. Stop waiting until you feel confident. You’ll feel confident as a result of doing. Self-respect, confidence, and trust are earned by your actions. They don’t just show up.

3) No one owes you anything. 

You’re not entitled to a good life, good parents, or anything else. Tough pill? Not really. You aren’t entitled to anything and you have so much. No one owes you anything, yet anything is available for you. Shifting this perspective puts your life in your hands. Go for what you want, unabashedly and unapologetically. Learn more about entitlement here.

4) If you’re reading this, you’re likely a member of the 1% worldwide 

$34k a year is the threshold. You’re richer, freer, and more privileged than 99% of people in the world. Be grateful and generous.

5) Lasting happiness is an inside job.

No one outside of you can make you happy, and no one other than you can stop you from being happy. Want to cultivate happiness? Read: What Happy People Know.

6) Biology does not a relationship make.

Sometimes the people closest to you are toxic and destructive to you. It’s okay to create distance from them, and to get outside help from a credentialed and trusted counselor to help you handle them and choose healthier relationships.

7) You are the solution to your problems.

Stop looking for someone to save you. No one can rescue you, or solve your problems for you. Sometimes people can support you as you solve your own problems. When you do solve them, you’ll have more self-esteem.

8) You’re already enough.

You really can create the life you want. Create the vision. Commit to it and to learning all you can to advance it. Plan as best you can with what you know. Take consistent action and persevere. The path will reveal itself as you travel it. Unforeseen support, resources, and insight will emerge to help you. Your self-esteem and confidence will grow too. You’re already worthy, you just need to show yourself.

9) The way you treat yourself trains others as to how to treat you.

If you disrespect yourself, others will disrespect you. If you devalue yourself, others will devalue you, too. If you take good care of yourself and decline harmful habits, people, and environments, harmonious ones will take their place.

10) Find and follow a passion, the money will follow.

Most people advocate following the money, and most of them aren’t happy or rich. If most people followed their passion, I’d have no clients in my coaching practice.

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