Cynthia Occelli

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My Living Room

February 8, 2013

On My Couch

Today I shared some posts on Facebook about romance, passion and the power of having a masculine/feminine polarity in a committed relationship. As always, it sparked a lot of discussion. Many women agreed and confidently stated their desire to be loved by a man who is fully possessed of his masculine energy and to revel in their feminine energy. A few people dissented and left long (I’m talking 700-1000 word) comments detailing their disagreement. I answered a few thinking that it’s healthy to explore and discuss all views. Yet, when I was finished, I’d gained nothing and lost precious time that I could have invested in something important to me. This is not how I want to live.

I then checked my email and messages. I’d received several notes from women who had so much to share and so many beautiful questions, but they were intimidated by the dissenters and didn’t want to be judged or criticized, so they shared them privately, instead of with our group. This gave me pause and caused me to reflect on what really matters to me.

My goal in creating this site, and in participating in social media, is not to engage in discussions about why I believe what I believe, I already know why I do.

It isn’t to convince or convert others to my way of thinking; read it and if it resonates with you then it’s right for you. If not, that’s okay.

What I value most of all is having a “safe” space to explore women’s empowerment, feminine expression, and personal success. I want this space to be a sanctuary where women feel comfortable expressing their innermost feelings, vulnerabilities, and desires–free of evaluation, criticism or judgment.

Then I thought of a blog I’d read a long time ago (I think it was written by Jessica Gottlieb, I’m not sure). The blogger said something about treating her blog and page like her living room and if she wouldn’t be willing to entertain those comments in her living room, she wouldn’t on her blog. I agree.

This is my page and all who feel a connection are welcome. If you’re not a fan of my writings, or you are opposed to what I say, the internet is brimming with other sites that you’ll enjoy. Be blessed and go there. If you’re passionate about an opinion that opposes mine, start your own blog. With all kindness and wishes of peace, what you think of me (or my work) is none of my business.

From now on, I’ll be deleting and banning all comments that detract from the kind of environment I seek to create.

The world is filled with every imaginable experience, YOU get to choose what you’d like to include and exclude from your life. There is no need or prize in tolerating what detracts from your highest expression.



35 responses to “My Living Room”

  1. Eileen Stanislav says:

    Beautifully expressed, Cynthia…you are a true teacher, a guide to the wisdom of discernment and boundaries….thank you for caring enough about yourself, modeling for other women how to care about themselves, by seeking and sharing such personal, yet universal, insights. I admire you greatly. Namaste.

  2. Kelly says:

    Good for you Cynthia… Apparently when you “strike a nerve” with so many people, you’ve done your job. You’ve made them/us think about that subject. I read that this morning and yet — this evening, hours after reading your message, I had to pull it up to read it again! ha!! Bravo! As always your writing is deep and thought provoking. Thank you – keep it up!

  3. Janet says:


  4. Kadi says:

    Bravo. Your time is precious. Good for you on deciding how you would like to allocate it. Keep the positivity coming!! Love to you.

  5. kathy davis says:

    How you live your own life is a beautiful example to others.

  6. Vonda Morris Pegues says:

    Well said…you go girl!

  7. Mona Noorian says:

    Hi Cynthia, Just wanted to say, keep strong beautiful lady! Love everything you share with us and I really look forward to all your posts. Sending you lots of love!

  8. Lin says:

    Well said.

  9. June sarchett says:

    that what I am talking about, you go girl!

  10. Mee says:

    Amen I praise you for that that has been my life’s motto in my professional world and I need to figure out how to start a business that encompasses that because life is way too short :)

  11. Cyntia says:

    Beautiful, thank you!

  12. Cyndi says:

    Oh, this made me smile. I deleted my FB account a few months ago but I made sure to be on your email list so I would continue to receive your blog posts. Thank you for this lovely example of setting boundaries.

  13. dbishopp says:

    We have 2 Shitzhus & love them dearly!

  14. Connie Daley says:

    I couldn’t agree more with your thoughts on this topic. I enjoy my Facebook page very much, and support participation of social media, so it saddens me to hear various people say how much they hate Facebook because there are so many negative people there. Why are they on your page??? I have very carefully designed my page so that negative people to not appear in my newsfeed. We need to structure our social media in much the same way as we structure our lives, and you are exactly right, if i wouldn’t entertain those comments in my living room, then I won’t have them on my Facebook page. Simple! You don’t even need to “unfriend” people because there are “hide” and “block” actions you can take. It’s YOUR page. Make it something beautiful. ♥ Thank you for your work, Cynthia.

  15. Lily says:

    It’s a GRAND thing to be in a relationship with a man who can not only revel in your feminine desires and successes, but who can also FEEL them himself. Doesn’t happen often, but when it does: Fireworks!

  16. Kuana Marie-School says:

    What a beautiful and grand response regarding those people posting negativity! I 100% agree with you, & thank you for this decision. Eloquently written as usual :>

  17. Regina Mirella says:

    Thank you for expressing that so beautifully. The energy of dissent and judgment clouds out the sun and threatens to bring storms of discontent. It is such a gift to all when we stand in our own light, speak our truths, bless the dissenters and send them off to find theirs. There is room for all points of view, but not in our living room

  18. Lynn says:

    GOOD GOING :) you inspire me

  19. Sarah Mahmood says:

    It’s funny you are discussing this topic- I was just thinking this today about some of my ‘friends’ on FB who attack and dissect my inspirational comments that I leave on my status updates- then, I have to go in again and Explain to them what I meant. Some people just like ‘drama’ in their own lives and online- I guess.

  20. Faith says:

    Love what you just expressed so beautifully. Your thoughts resonate completely with mine. Always look forward to reading your posts. Love & Blessings to you .

  21. ♥ Mel ♥ says:

    Perfection. I’ve found the same true for my “friends” and followers on Facebook and Twitter. If I don’t want someone’s company in person, then they really don’t have a place on my social networking either. Good for you and thank you for reminding me to take ownership of who and what I surround myself with. xo

  22. Melissa Maze says:

    That was beautiful Cynthia!! I love everything that you share…you inspire me. ~Blessings

  23. HeatherTill says:

    I have so much respect for you and this post…and the amazing, diverse women who form your community. Mad love to you, Cynthia.

  24. Kellie Nichols says:

    I love how you put this. Some people are so nasty to dissenters and others who disagree with them. You put it in such a lovely way and so respectfully. I must say, I respect that so much.

  25. Darla Dollman says:

    I just had the same experience, and as I “clicked” and deleted a “friend,” I looked at my page and saw your post. Serendipity–finding something good and useful while not necessarily searching for it, and there you were. Thank you.

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