Cynthia Occelli

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How to heal sadness and painful feelings

March 1, 2013
Saturn by NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center

Saturn by NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center (flickr)


This week, nearly everyone I know is feeling some variation of sadness, fear, self-doubt, or other emotional pain that is non-situational—meaning not tied to current events.

My astrologer friend tells me that the juxtaposition of the planets—Saturn’s transit through Scorpio which will last until 2015—is calling up our skeletons, dirt, pains and “toxic holding-ons” and we have the opportunity to heal and release them. She says this is the time for facing, acknowledging, learning and trusting the process so that we can emerge better than before.

When painful feelings or situations arise, our natural tendency is to shut down or resist. Many of us repress our feelings in the name of positive thinking. This isn’t healthy or helpful, it’s harmful.

Painful feelings are a beacon guiding you to what needs healing now. Lean into them.

When you feel your energy centers (your gut, heart, throat, back etc.) contract, gently affirm that you are staying open and relax into the upset. Our natural reaction to close and shut our energy centers down, especially our hearts, does not protect us, or reduce, or stop our pain. We do it because we think it seals out pain, but instead it locks it in where, at a minimum, it will reemerge. Repressed negative emotions are toxic and can harm our mental and physical health.

When we acknowledge and sit with our feelings and keep our centers open, the feelings often intensify, at first. They may take us over and for a time immerse us in deep pain. Stay with it. Let the storms come. Relax into it and remain open. At some point, you’ll sense the energy move, you’ll have a sense of clarity or shift in the midst of the feelings. You’ll see them as present within you, but not as who you are. This is the point where you can powerfully participate in your healing.

When this glimmer of separation between you and your feelings arises, forgive. Forgive everyone involved for not being what you wanted them to be and release them. Then forgive yourself. Let the energy that called you to life wash all hands clean, surrender everything you’ve held against yourself and the world. Lean into it.

After forgiving and surrendering, wrap yourself in love. Know that you are supported, here on purpose, and in perfect process. Trust that the power that so exquisitely hung billions of planets in more systems than we can fathom has you in its palm.

Here’s a breakdown of the process. It may helpful to do it on paper–writing out your feelings and thoughts, however just printing out and using these 7 steps, when painful feelings emerge, is extraordinarily powerful.

Emotional Anxiety/Pain Release Process*:

1. I acknowledge and accept my feelings.

2. I am open to letting these feelings flow through my heart center.

3. I relax into them and choose to stay open.

4. I recognize that I am not what I feel.

5. I forgive myself and others for not being what I wanted.

6. I surrender myself to the healing and purifying power of my creator.

7. I am wrapped in love. I am safe.

We can never get over anything, yet we can get through it. This a path (there are many) and it leads to a happier, healthier, limitless life.

*If you’ve suffered severe trauma or feel too fragile to handle your feelings alone, make it your number one priority to connect with someone who can support you as you process your feelings–counselor, psychologist, spiritual adviser, clergy, etc.



8 responses to “How to heal sadness and painful feelings”

  1. Ellen E Schafroth says:

    I had just posted this on FB before I read your blog….lol, yep! thought I would share it here. This is old trauma that I am speaking of and the message I kept getting is “you can not do this alone” so…….

    So a week ago I woke up from a dream that wasn’t a dream but a long buried remembering…but only partial… which honestly I was a bit ticked off about. For the next three days I experienced such an intense physical manifestation that came unbidden, often, and was terrifying…nothing like not being able to breathe in the produce section, yikes! But I look back at this week with incredible gratitude….physically: people (one that I don’t even know) were immediately put in my path to help! How cool is that? the pain has changed and shifted so I know I am not done with this but one bond is gone. good, it will be, thank you. I am needing alot of rest and down time. Emotionally: the dream was partial because I could not have handled more, thanks. I do want this and my heart can say daily, yes I am willing, here are the reins. Mentally: I watch my busy brain get in the way with self judgement, fear and wanting it to be, I learn to be more patient and trust the process of “spirit time”, of letting go. Spiritually: some spirits came to me, one that I hadn’t seen since I was 12…. another whos presence is so familiar that I have taken it for granted…. all that time she has been with me! all that time he is always around!…. took me to my knees. literally
    Am I done with this particular piece? no. Am I willing? yes. Am I scared? I am now more scared of not getting rid of the baggage than facing it…aaaand we’re back to self judgement again, lol.
    Really Ellen? on FB? yep. this is me.

    • Cynthia says:

      Ellen, this is powerful!! Let it all come up and through you so that you can go free. Getting some support would help a lot. Love to you. Cynthia

    • LilyRoseViolet says:

      :) I like the part where you say you are more scared of not getting rid of the baggage <3 I posted the photo to show you my little spirit who is less than a year old, I got him the day a friend had passed away. Hes laying on my arm as I try to use the keyboards on my lap top. Thanks for sharing that… it got me thinking to , I could visualize the produce debt with you there too trying to gasp for air.

  2. Brenda says:

    Boy if this didn’t make the lightbulb go off in My head. I have been feeling like this and not knowing why. Last night I just cried, not knowing why, just that I knew I had too. Thanks for posting this.

    • Cynthia says:

      Lol, Brenda. Thank goodness it’s temporary and a powerful opportunity to clean house! Love to you.


  3. mej313 says:

    Great message

  4. Mellissa Drawec says:

    me to and thought i was doing good then i was feeling bad for feeing bad!!

  5. I believe it was you who explosively acknowledged my abused child. Thank you Cynthia for supporting me in my pain.

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