Cynthia Occelli

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How to heal sadness and painful feelings

March 1, 2013
Saturn by NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center

Saturn by NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center (flickr)

 

This week, nearly everyone I know is feeling some variation of sadness, fear, self-doubt, or other emotional pain that is non-situational—meaning not tied to current events.

My astrologer friend tells me that the juxtaposition of the planets—Saturn’s transit through Scorpio which will last until 2015—is calling up our skeletons, dirt, pains and “toxic holding-ons” and we have the opportunity to heal and release them. She says this is the time for facing, acknowledging, learning and trusting the process so that we can emerge better than before.

When painful feelings or situations arise, our natural tendency is to shut down or resist. Many of us repress our feelings in the name of positive thinking. This isn’t healthy or helpful, it’s harmful.

Painful feelings are a beacon guiding you to what needs healing now. Lean into them.

When you feel your energy centers (your gut, heart, throat, back etc.) contract, gently affirm that you are staying open and relax into the upset. Our natural reaction to close and shut our energy centers down, especially our hearts, does not protect us, or reduce, or stop our pain. We do it because we think it seals out pain, but instead it locks it in where, at a minimum, it will reemerge. Repressed negative emotions are toxic and can harm our mental and physical health.

When we acknowledge and sit with our feelings and keep our centers open, the feelings often intensify, at first. They may take us over and for a time immerse us in deep pain. Stay with it. Let the storms come. Relax into it and remain open. At some point, you’ll sense the energy move, you’ll have a sense of clarity or shift in the midst of the feelings. You’ll see them as present within you, but not as who you are. This is the point where you can powerfully participate in your healing.

When this glimmer of separation between you and your feelings arises, forgive. Forgive everyone involved for not being what you wanted them to be and release them. Then forgive yourself. Let the energy that called you to life wash all hands clean, surrender everything you’ve held against yourself and the world. Lean into it.

After forgiving and surrendering, wrap yourself in love. Know that you are supported, here on purpose, and in perfect process. Trust that the power that so exquisitely hung billions of planets in more systems than we can fathom has you in its palm.

Here’s a breakdown of the process. It may helpful to do it on paper–writing out your feelings and thoughts, however just printing out and using these 7 steps, when painful feelings emerge, is extraordinarily powerful.

Emotional Anxiety/Pain Release Process*:

1. I acknowledge and accept my feelings.

2. I am open to letting these feelings flow through my heart center.

3. I relax into them and choose to stay open.

4. I recognize that I am not what I feel.

5. I forgive myself and others for not being what I wanted.

6. I surrender myself to the healing and purifying power of my creator.

7. I am wrapped in love. I am safe.

We can never get over anything, yet we can get through it. This a path (there are many) and it leads to a happier, healthier, limitless life.

*If you’ve suffered severe trauma or feel too fragile to handle your feelings alone, make it your number one priority to connect with someone who can support you as you process your feelings–counselor, psychologist, spiritual adviser, clergy, etc.

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