Cynthia Occelli

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ARE YOU ASKING FOR IT?

December 5, 2017

Most women habitually do not ask for what they want and we don’t ask for more (as compared to men). I’ve long challenged myself to ask for things, even if it’s just an exercise.

Some things you can ask for:
 
1) Ask for charges and fees to be reversed (late payment, missed notice, etc.).
 
2) Ask for more money when you’re hired or promoted.
 
3) Ask to be promoted (do your homework to see when men in your position who delivered your level of work were promoted).
 
4) Ask for a discount where things are negotiable, the car repair shop, your rent, interest rate, hotel stay (not the grocery store, but hey who knows).
 
My personal challenge. I make myself do this: When you make an offer, choose a number that feels a little uncomfortable, a little like it’s too much. Do it kindly, and list all of the reasons you’re a great choice (good credit, maybe you pay things in advance, you’re highly qualified, have an outstanding work ethic).
 
You won’t always get what you ask for, but you’ll get it more often than not and it feels amazing.
 
Finally, don’t think in terms of asking for what you’re worth. You’re worth more than anyone can afford. Ask for what your work, done at your level of excellence, is worth.
 
Another thing most of us need to get better at is asking for help. I mean all sorts. Here are some ideas:
 
1) Ask your kids to clean up their dishes, laundry, bedrooms, bathrooms, backpacks, etc.
 
2) Assign and delegate family responsibilities and chores. Who can take out the garbage, vacuum, dust, wash cars, pick up so-and-so from wherever?
 
3) Who can make breakfast, lunch or dinner besides you? At least sometimes.
 
4) Who can meet the repair guy, walk the dog, and pick up eggs?
 
You don’t get a prize for doing everything yourself. You just get tired.
 
Asking for help frees up time for you to do very important things. Things like: write your book, meditate, take a bath or a walk, work on your side business, paint, sleep, dance, journal or figure out how you’re going to implement a long over-due change.
 
Don’t let busyness convince you that you’re productive.
 
Don’t let distraction rob you of the life you’re here to live.
 
So, what’s it going to be? What are you going to ask for? Share it in the comments and hold yourself to it.

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